Commerical Break

Yes i'm am copping out and just posting a picture for your amusement. Consider it a commerical break until I have time to post part II. In the meantime feel free to write your own capation to this picture. I will give you a little background. We worked the overnight (midnight-10am) shift at the time. Got off at 10am on Fri, headed straight to the bar and stayed until the bar closed. This picture was during the 7pm hour.

Fight Night: TV dads (Part I)

Welcome everyone to the first edition of Fight Night. I'm Jim Lampley alongside Larry Merchant and special color commentator "Iron" Mike Tyson.

Mike: .... I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating.*

Jim: .... excellent point Mike.....Tonights match up brings us 2 heavyweight dads from TV land. Al "Whoooahhh" Bundy will go toe to toe with Danny "No Mercy" Tanner. Just an incredilble matchup Larry.

Larry: Real incredible match up Jim....

Jim: ......Yeah... i know i just said that.....

Larry:........ Don't start with me....please...not this early..... Real exciting match up Jim. Its going to be interesting to see how Bundy's chi-town south paw style will match up with Tanner's San Fran Slap machine.

Jim: Wake up San Fransico indeed. That slap machine can be furious. Mike your a 3 time champ how would you counter Tanner's style?

Mike:..... I would rip his stomach out and eat his children*..You have to mess with a man pyscologicalbilty..... especially a man that fathered 3 girls. That a takes a tough mentalilablity.

Jim: ....Yes Mike, i'm not sure if those are actual words but .. yes mike. good... now go play with the pigeons.... ....... When we talk Tanner we're talking about the mental game. He doesn't stack up to Bundy physically, but he has the reach and the brain over his oppenent? Larry you had a chance to interview Danny Tanner.

Larry: Jim, I had the chance to interview Danny Tanner. Mental toughness is there, for godsakes the man lived with the barrell of gun in his mouth most of his life..... why didn't he just pull the trigger? let's listen to what Tanner had to say......
======================
Larry: Danny Tanner, family man. Father of three beautiful daughters. Why fight Al Bundy?

Danny: I don't endorse fighting as resolve to any problem. Communication is the key... oh and with 55-1 odds i bet everything i had on myself, plus you guys are paying for everything and the purse is at 10mil. I don't know if you saw my last few movies... the cash flow needs a little pick me up.

Larry: Tell me about it. I need a lude every now and then. Some say your crazy Danny to do this and the majority of people say your going to get your ass kicked by Al Bundy...

Danny: I know... I know.. Al is bigger than me physically and make less than 20k a year..hahaha.. can you imagine... ahhhh...(cheesy music) but i believe in myself and the most important person you need to believe in you is yourself.

Larry: Where did that fucking music come from?..... What's interesting is your family thinks you'll win hands down. Here i have some qutoes. Your youngest Michelle "Daddy wins. Got it dude" some girl named Stephanie, i don't remember her but she said "Of course he'll win. How rude."..... Your brother in law Jesse "Danny win? Have Meerrr.....

Danny: DONT YOU DARE FINISH THAT FUCKIN LINE OR I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE CERVICAL!!!

Larry: ...O...K..... Anger issues with Stamos?

Danny:..... maybe........... it wasn't until the 3rd season that i notice the darkness bubbling inside.... The writers were taking the show in a new direction…..fucking Stamos… scored a 103 with test audiences…They wanted to center the show around him..What about me?? I'm the fucking dad....... I tried to have him killed but Gladstone wouldn’t cough up the dough.... Pussy. Gladstone sold out for the show and then the writers wrote him in an advetising team with Stamos for 3 seasons. Come On!! A fucking advertising firm out of the basement of my house??? What a joke? Sometimes i wished that basement would just cave.......

Larry: I see.... smoke and a pancake?

Danny: Thanks.....It seemed like every week I would get a revised script that lightened my lines, or be jetting off to report for Wake Up San Fransico even though... Becky and I were anchors and anchors don’t go out in the field to report unless its war or the elections….. fucking writers…. Then Stamos got to spend time with the girls and started doing the end of the day life lesson learned. Where was daddy, huh? No where in site. Michelle first words were dadda to Uncle fucking Jesse. God i hate him.

Larry: You seemed happy on the show? Must have not bothered you that much.

Danny: There were days I would sit in the dark in my dressing room with the barrel of cold hard gun in my mouth until the producer would turn on the lights.. then show time….....

Larry: How did you get through the eight years living together?

Danny: I fucked Gibbler.

Larry: You what! Kimmy Gibbler?

Danny - Oh yeah. The bitch knew how the help me blow a load and clear up my mind.

Larry: but its Gibbler....

Danny: Hey look Larry I'm a man damnit. I did have a wife you know. I'm not some homo that got stuck with 3 girls ok. She died in a car accident, ass. Episode fucking one, watch it some time.

Larry: Is that why you slept with Gibbler, to replace the physical void left by your dead wife?

Danny: No.. ....she....gibbler blackmailed me back in 89'. She walked in on me and Gladstone shooting a line off Kirk Cameron's ass. She said she was going to tell DJ if i didn't......

Larry: No need to cry Danny.... And there you have it folks. Danny Tanner will face Al Bu.....

Danny: What?…..

Larry: What?.

Danny: Stop making those bullwinkle noises Gladstone...AAAGGGHHHHHH.... GET OUT OF MY HEAD! AAAAGGGHHHH!!!

Larry: Excuse me Mr. Tanner, its only us in here..... and HOLY SHIT you just put a hole in that wall...

Danny: Sorry I must have blacked out. You have any ice.

Larry: ........................

Danny: ............
===============================
First off. Holy shit Danny Tanner is a psycho and secondly, you didn't talk about boxing at all. This is a pre-fight show and you gave me an Oprah moment. What the hell Larry?.

Tyson: His mind is fwightining. Peresonally, I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all.*

Larry: Jim this is a pre-fight show and i gave you an Oprah moment, i know. I was just trying to give you more damnit. Your such an asshole. Why can't you appericate me for who i am? I can't take this, i'm leaving.

Larry? I.... I was only trying to..... don't go... Come back here. HEY Come back here little miss prissy. I'M TALKING TO YOU!! ..... Great just great.

Mike: I don't react to a tragic happening any more. I took so many bad things as a kid and some people think I don't care about anything. It's just too hard for me to get emotional. I can't cry no more.*

We'll be back after these commericals......... (part II to come later)

* actual tyson quotes.

Win a date with Tombo

Its time to Play Win a Date with Tombo. The lovely game where i whore out my friends for my asumement. Lets go over the rules. Each contestant gets one shot at how Tombo got his most recent injury. I'll give out up to 3 hints on the post as time ticks. In the meantime you may ask anything about the contestant (except question about his injury), i will forward those questions to tombo, and then interupt his answers the best i can. Answers will be posted below his picture. guys are welcome to play as well to win dates for themselves or their lonely grandma. Let's meet our bachelor. ( a special note on the pitcure of our bachelor... this picture was taken at his b-day party held at a former boss's house.. tombo is sitting on a bag of ice because his co-worker's wife hit him in the nuts)


Questions to get to know Tombo:
from buttah - has tombo ever masterbrated with a cheese grater? no. the cheese grater reminds him of a bad teething incident back in 98', luckly those scars have healed.
from allie - was tombo drunk on the 4th of july weekend? 4 shiners. on that particular day. not drunk.
from buttah - whould tombo want a date with me to begin with? simply put... yes.
from allie - does tombo like to play with firworks? tombo does like fireworks. in fact he caught a line of fucking trees on fire on this particular day and the fire department came out, but no fireworks did not cut or burn tombo in any fashion on his leg.
perdita - Is that salve or puss in the wound? yes. based of taste it is puss.
perdita - Has he been to a doctor? no. tombo was treated by the 4 hottest girls at the party. they kept blowing on his leg all night after all the blood was cleaned up.
perdita - Did he get a tetanus shot? no tetanus shot. he's hasn't complained about his jaw hurting yet.
butta - Does Tombo attach sharp things to his penis, and accidently let it ALL hang low? tombo already hangs low with out sharp objects. come on his name is tombo he has to be hung.
buttah - did tombo fall at some point during the 4th? no. tombo did not fall on anything that would cut his leg that day.
buttah - did one of you boys slash him at any point during the day? No. me, ponyboy, sodapop, two bit, and dallas did not cut him. knife fights are so 80's.
r.u. serious - Was our hero anywhere near a lake? No. he was in a spacious backyard
jeff - what is tombo's hairstyle? short mowhawk like your current modern rock star. tombo's previous haircut before the mowhawk was a kickass mullet.
buttah - does tombo shave his leg? yes. tombo shaves his legs for soccer. ripping of tape is a bitch.
buttah - was tombo near a weed wacker at the time of the cut? no. no one whacks weeds at night.
snake - What is tombo's favorite snake? red tail bowa. i have no idea why. personally a i would say a dead one.
snake - how much can he bench? just maxxed him out at 165
plum - Has tombo read a karma sutra book? yes. and he is writing his own version.
buttah - did tombo fall at anytime? no. he did bump into something and noticed his leg was gushing blood after he sat down.
jaszy - Does tombo like long walks on the beach? (tombo just vomitted to your question)
jaszy - what other languages does he speak? no. although tombo looks spanish he does not speak spanish, but he can fake it.
ally - how tall is tombo? 6'0...6'1 somewhere in there.
mel - is tommy in shape? look at the skinny lad. he plays soccer to. of course he is in shape.

ok now that we've met the bachelor.... LETS PLAY THE FEUD! (sorry just felt like saying that, I promise i will not hang myself.... by the way what's the odd's of Al Borlin hanging himself as host of the Feud?)

This is Tombo's most recent injury.
















Hints:
This occured on the 4th of July weekend
He was not watching where he was going and it was dark outside.
caused by a metal object.

shane - it was a roman candle burn during a fireworks war. (wrong. not a fireworks injury)
not shane - He was in a dance fight & GOT SERVED! (No. altough tombo has been in many a dance fights... he never gets served)
ty- Tombo. . . Did you trip and cut yourself on a beer bottle? (No. but close it in the since that it is a cut from an object.)
bob - Did someone try and brand him or put him on the BBQ? (No. tombo did this on his own with no help)
not really shane - Did he cut it on a fence? (no. but it was a metal)
alecia - did he a healthy sharp stick cut him? (no.... a stick could not paint that masterpiece)
its really not shane - mower blade? (no...the cut is vertical. i would think a mower blade would be horizontal)
natalia - did he cut himself with an axe? (no. he did not cut himself with anything that you carry in your hand)
ally - he was playing horseshoes? not techincally but you are so damn close
mel - He bumped into a horseshoe pole? WE HAVE A WINNER

In response to:

I loved this comment so much i needed a post to respond to it, responding to this in the comment box would not cut it. This was from No-L after she read my dennis hurricane post below. I'll preface this with... the comment No-L wrote was long winded enough and open for me to be an asshole and over analyze it, the content isn't offensive to me. It just gives me an excuse to throw up a couple of redneck pictures (like the charmer above) and talk about Florida and hurricanes, and Ferris Bueller. Ok... time to be an asshole.

No-L wrote:

Hey, I thought Texas was the capital of the southerners *cough* I mean rednecks. You know the accents, cowboy boots and the hats they all threw me off. Texas has been known to have hurricanes hit their coast and not just any hurricane folks the worst one in history. It killed over 6,000 people in Galveston.

Last time I checked Florida was the #1 tourist destination… not just in the country, in the world. They must have something to offer to have so many people want to visit. Hmmmm… maybe they wanted to visit redneck Mickey.

I do however think it is in pretty bad taste to make fun of people who have lost their lives, their homes or both. I am not religious but who are you to say who god likes and doesn’t like? Do you really think that you are that righteous?

First off your obviously a native floridian (plus the fact that it is on your blog). You thought texas was the capitol of southerners and or rednecks?..... please stop thinking.... Everyone knows the capitol of the south is Richmond, VA. Sure we lobbied for it here in Texas at our bi-weekly "The South Shall Rise Again" meetings, but with 5 fucking presidents from that state and the lobbying of the tobacco companies VA snatched up the capitol. Now rednecks, hillbilly, hick is a diffrent story. Redneck is just a social sterotype. It would be like asking what's the capitol of the Yuppies. Who knows they're everywhere?

And an accent, cowboy boots, and cowboy hat are your signs for a redneck?? Try visiting a few states other than Texas before you make that assumption. Arizona, Wyoming, New Mexico, Oklahoma, fucking Austriala perhaps, maybe they have a capitol of rednecks because they sure do have a lot of "cowboys" especially Wyoming... and don't give me the accent thing... you go to any other state in the US that is a few hundred miles from you and everyone will have an accent. Even the austrialians will have accents.

Here's a list of qualities to help you identify a redneck that I base off the "Jeff Foworthy Show" that ran for 3 seasons on ABC. Feel free people to let me know if i leave something out.

You you have an fridge stocked with pabst blue ribbon
One of your releatives makes moonshine for income.
You have to have a gun rack in your pick up.
Your favorite outfit is sleeveless shirt, blue jeans, and a cap (baseball or trucker)
Your hair must be mullet or military cut
Your favorite shows must be one of the following NASCAR, WWE, or something with monster trucks.
You must collect junk cars on your lawn.

That will help you better id a redneck than the cowboy look. I'm sure other's will chime in with additional charateristics, I left it pretty wide open. Moving On.

Ok texas has had hurricanes.... true. The last hurricane to hit texas was in 99' hurricane brett. (Not a every cool name) While as Florida, what is it now an average of 2 a year. As far as the galveston hurricane, lets not pretend that was recently... it happened in fucking 1900. 1900, jesus. The first radio reciever had not even recieved its first transmission. So no mass communication, no model-T to drive away... you had to load up the horse and buggy to get away, that is if your neighbor was a metoroligist to tell you a fucking hurricane was coming since there wasn't a TV, and a majority of the deaths were due to the flooding induced by the hurricane. So only 6,000 due to flooding ... for the year 1900... not that bad.. I'm sure you can google deadliest flooding and my a million more deaths than that.... *cough* tsunami *cough*

#1 tourist destination.... no shit.... warm sunny beaches all around, golf, disney world, universal studios, your closer than flying to hawaii, shark attacks, rednecks, the ghettos of Tampa Bay, hurricanes, cruise ships port mainly in Maimi, and you can pretend your in Hati or Cuba in parts of Maimi. Of course its number one. What they need now is Hurricane World. I bet it would be 10x better than redneck Mickey.

I did read through the post again and..... ok you got me i skimmed the fucker and i don't think i mentioned anything about people dying. I simply suggested all rednecks should move to Tennessee. I should think that would work for you then they would have a capitol.

and for the last 2 questions... if your not religous then why do you care who i say god does and doesn't like? and for the last question, righteous as in Ferris Bueller righteous dude? or Pulp Fiction's the path of a righteous man?... i think you mean self-righteous.

Dennis, Florida thanks you

Hurricanes... You have to watch them. There just plain fun. They bring chaos, flooding, death, looting, and lower property taxes. Gotta enjoy the news coverage when it comes to hurricanes. They are the best. Showing you all the descrution, families lose everything, idiots running in the ocean.....(i really thought one of those dumb fuckers was going to get swallowed up and dissappear when MSNBC were showing people live going into the ocean)
Which begs the question.When are you not rooting for the storm? You get hyped up and watch some footage of Dennis rip up a third world country like Cuba..which is the equivlant of fighting Glass Joe in Mike Tyson's punch out... and who doesn't like it when a someone whips Cuba's ass.. So the hurricane's already a hero and gaining popularity and coming to fight the american shoreline.. So you get excited and want to see what kind of damage he can really do...and don't give me that "those poor people on the coast" excuse... come on we are talking about rednecks. If you been to these cities you know what i'm talking about. And how come all residents has to evacuate but reporters have a secert gopher hole where they magically make it through the storm?
Let's go live to Anderson Cooper who is in Panama City standing in the aftermath of Dennis. Coop?

Coop: Good morning to you Dean. The blessing of Hurricane Dennis can be...

Dean: Woah Woah.. Woah. Blessing what the hell are you talking about?

Coop: Oh come on Dean...

Dean: Come on what?

Coop: Have you been to this area of Florida?

Dean: No, i'm sorry to say i spend my vacations in the Islands.

Coop: Consider yourself a lucky man Dean. This is the redneck neck captiol of Florida. Don't be fooled by the beach property Dean. Once you get past the main drag its hicksville all the way. Rednecks all over, here in the armpit of Florida. God cleary wants to cleanse the coast of rednecks as a part of his continual damnation of Florida.

Dean: Coop hurricanes are caused by tropical deppression headed into the Gulf area and hot moist air ascends into cool rotating winds of thunderstorms.

Coop: Complete bullshit Dean. It is obvious my prayers and the prayers of millions that have seen ugliness that lies in heart of this hicktown are being answered. Ivan was the first and Dennis is not the last.

Dean: and where in Panama city are you Coop?

Coop: We're here on Dophlin Drive about 7 miles from the coast, and you can see behind me the descruction and caranage brought to this neighborhood. This space right here. Gary can you point the camera there. Right there use to be the backbone in this neighborhood Zeb's Fixin Store which considered of a tire service, restraunt, grocery store, paint shop, and brothel. It is also where we found this guy.(Cooper takes a knee next to a three legged sheep dog.)

Dean: Good God. The hurricane ripped of this dogs leg!

Coop: No no no no Dean... i wish it would have been so simple.... His owner sawed his leg off to make a broth for some soup before they evacuated Florida. Luckly we found this guy chained to a tire...... Just goes to show you what kind of vile creatures we are dealing with... And look over here.. gary bring the camera over here....right here in the dirt you can see the an entire collection of the Dale Earnhart NASCAR dish series. All five of them broken.

Dean: Was there any one who waited the storm out?

Coop: No dean. We believe that the rednecks have traveled north to the backwoods of Tennesse into thier natural habitat . Commonly known as the Appalaction Mountains.

Dean: So what now?

Coop: Rejoice. The world will rejoice...... oh and lots of looting. Tons of looting. I had my eye on that Dale Earnheart collection but what are you going to do.

Dean: No what now for the town and other towns that have suffered damage from Dennis.

Coop: Well i've spoken to Jed Bush. They will ask for an emergency fianical aid from his brother. Then they will take that money to redevelop this area of Florida something they have been wanting to do for a long time.

Dean: But the redn.. er people still own that land.

Coop: The city of Panama will claim emmenet domain while everyone is gone and rezone this hell hole into commerical zoning. This is the Coop reporting out of the armpit of America.

Dean: Amen Coop. Praise be ah la.

Coop: Hallauh indeed Dean.

Dean: Thank you Coop. You heard it here first its offical... Revelations has begun.

On side note that footage of Anderson Cooper and John Zarrella watching the signs come straight at them.... Money.... Everytime i watch it i find myself rooting for the sign to come right at them and ripp Zarrella's head off. I'm dissapointed everytime.

If that aluminun sign came right them and Anderson Cooper ducked and Zarrella got his head sliced off would Cooper go on with the report? I think so. More imporantly i truley believe he would be screaming the same thing "I've never seen anything like this before" over and over. Then the Ramada Inn sign would strike him in the head.
In short. I think the world is a better place with rednecks out of Florida and staying in Tennesse (this is just another point that Florida is the most fucked up state to live in). In fact i would say all Flordians have to be happy.. i mean any time you wipe out a redneck infested area its a win win. Can't wait for the next one.

and Mobile i didn't forget about you. God hates you to.

Thanks George, this sparkler is for you.

So i decided to celebrate the 4th, like any person who is looking for a legal excuse to use explosives. What better way to pay tribute to the first soliders that died to establish this country than by shooting roman candles at each other, and if you haven't shot roman candles at your best friend that's just unamerican and you have trust issues. Is there relating theme tied in with fireworks and america's freedom?
I don't remember anyone taking the time to explain the correlation. Its makes perfect sense to you as a kid, we're going outside to play for a while then when it gets dark we're going to blow up shit and shoot rockets into the sky all in the name of this great country........ (ok dad sounds good i'm going to go back to watching He-Man.) I mean i remember some b.s. being fed to us in school along the lines of fireworks being tied in with national athemen, "bombs bursting through the air line". You have to wonder how that played out in history....

Washington: "We need something that resonates freedom in the heart of men, and by men a mean free white men that own property. (Puff) Want a hit of this Jefferson?"

Jefferson: "No thanks. I'm cool."

Washington: "Come on man this is good shit. Slaves grew it right out of my backyard, helps me with glaucoma."

Madison: "Since when did you have glaucoma? You can't even clear up that syphillis. Pass that shit over here." (puff puff)

Washington: (puff puff)"Who told you about my syphillis?"

Madison: (puff puff)"You did. When you..... shit someone's coming. Quick put throw this away."

Washington: "You can't throw that. Swallow it."

Madison: "I'm not swallowing this shit. Here you swallow it."

Washington: "Pussy"(Swallows)

Jefferson: "Relax guys its Adams."

Adams: "Brought the beer."

Washington: "Shit John, now i gotta roll another."

Adams: "You got a whole acre of that growing on your property. If you were the real father of this country you would spread that seed everywhere in America so everyone can grow it for free and not have to depend on forgien third world countries, who benifit off the youth of america. You greedy bastard."

Jefferson: "So back to the problem at hand. Spicing up the 4th of July, so we can bring in bigger sponsors."

Madison: "Yeah Tom. The last few celebrations have lacked a little pow, a little flare you know what i mean?"

Adams: "Well you know... thanks george (puff puff). How about music? Because when we get piss drunk we always end up singing."

Jefferson: "Yeah and the most popular patoric song is the one that faggot Francis Scott Key wrote when he cried after he watch Fort McHenry being taken."

Madison: (puff puff) "Well let's put it to a english drinking song since that's all we know because we're from england. Something like To Anacreon in Heaven. Still needs some pow though."

Washington: "Anyone want to shotgun me...... Fine." (puff puff)

Jefferson: (humms Francis Scott Key song)

Washington: "I got it (long drag) we could blow shit up. You know like that line in the song, and rockets red glare the bombs bursting in air."

Adams: "You want to shoot fucking rockets at the crowd?"

Washington: "No no no man. This is on a whole nother level like explosives and shit. I've got a whole warehouse of these fireworks i bought from Ling Ling Chow when i purchase a soapy over in the little Asia district."

Madison: (puff puff)"What in the hell is a soapy?"

Washington: "Something Franklin introduced me to. Basiclly the woman washes your naked body with her naked body. Anyways (puff puff) these fireworks will kick ass."

Jefferson: "Brillant George. Your wacky tobaccy has solved another US crisis."

Wow i got a little caught up in that.... I don't even remember what the fuck i was talking about....... to lazy to scroll and look... much less read. Judging from the last view lines above i think its obvious that i was making a point on how fucking important the chinesse were... fireworks, laundry cleaning, and soapies.. and thanks for that transcontinetal railroad. I'm not sure if we still use that but i'm sure it was awesome.

Live 8... why god?

If your like me, then you own a tv. Chances are you saw the whole Live 8 thing. and if your like me you were probably saying "Holy, shit the Spice girls are reuniting!" and "Who is Bob Geldof and why is he asking me for money?"

Who in the hell are you?
How in the hell did Bob Geldof get rich? Last reported that he was in the 30million pound area in 2001. Did he keep all the money he raised in Band Aid 84 and Live Aid? What happen to all of that money Bob? Someone please explain this to me..... 79 million pounds raised from Live Aid to fight famine in Africa (anyone remember what countries in Africa the money went to..... me either), this was Geldof's interview during Live Aid when he learned only 1.2 million pounds were in during the concert.....

"People are dying NOW. Give us the money NOW. Give me the money now."

I think we deserve a report on where all the money people shelled out the first time went and how it was spent.... and why did he get knighted? He's not even british. He's Irish. The Queen of England can knight an irishman? Way to stay true to your punk rock roots, you don't see Johnny Rotten salavating to be knighted. (Your majesty Sir Rotten is here to save Africa)

Ok... let me get this straight. A multi-million dollar celebrity is going to ask me donate money to African governments, with the idea that they will put it towards feeding children. Last time i looked..... African goverments were really into the idea of putting a lot of money towards armed forces.... some for defenace, some for genocide..... you know being that most of them are generals.

So the message is... feed the children but let the UN handle the violence/genocide part.... Ok just wanted to make we have our priorities straight.... feed the children so they can eventually be murdered, join the army, or be on stage with Madonna.

On a side note, did anyone happen to see the part when Madonna brought poor Birhan Woldu on the fucking stage. You could tell she did not look comfortable at all, and build up they did to introduce this girl... was wrong on so many diffrent levels.

"See this little girl? She had 10 minutes to live 20 years ago... She is here tonight... Don't let them tell us it does not work."

why did Geldof just continue on in his introduction..

"Thank god we have actual video of this girl. I knew that 79 million did would save someone."

I'm sorry Bob. 79 million from live aid and you only bring back one person. Couldn't go back, build these people some houses, an irragation system, bring back a village that was saved. Just one Bob??? and then there's Birhan who has to watch herself near death experience with a couple million people and relive that in front of a worldwide audience. Then she manages to talk in front of huge crowd..

“My sister and mother died in the famine. I was so young I don’t remember much but I can see the sadness in my father’s eyes when he talks about it”


"yes that was very tragic...... AND NOW MADONNA!"

That was touching and how do they follow that up. Madonna comes out and sings Express Yourself.

Thanks Madonna for taking a dump on that moment. Couldn't Madonna come out and say "I'm going to donate 10% of what i made this year to your country because I believe in what Bob is selling." I mean if all the musicans dontated their money into what their selling.... no wait that's crazy talk we get to enjoy their free entertainment. That's their contribution to feeding children.... entertaining everyboy in the world but africa. And yes i've seen a few of the musicans who are donating record sales to the cause but come on... Paul McCartney and David Gilmour alone could buy Africa. and before Will Smith donates to Africa i think he needs to settle his debt with the American audience for Hitch, I-Robot, and all his CDs.

Ok think i'll stop there... would like to touch on other celebs time to get ready for game. My team the Bosox are in town......... and the fucking tornado sirens are on as i write this... what the fuck?


"You must preform 2 more task before i give you back your sole."