Thanks George, this sparkler is for you.

So i decided to celebrate the 4th, like any person who is looking for a legal excuse to use explosives. What better way to pay tribute to the first soliders that died to establish this country than by shooting roman candles at each other, and if you haven't shot roman candles at your best friend that's just unamerican and you have trust issues. Is there relating theme tied in with fireworks and america's freedom?
I don't remember anyone taking the time to explain the correlation. Its makes perfect sense to you as a kid, we're going outside to play for a while then when it gets dark we're going to blow up shit and shoot rockets into the sky all in the name of this great country........ (ok dad sounds good i'm going to go back to watching He-Man.) I mean i remember some b.s. being fed to us in school along the lines of fireworks being tied in with national athemen, "bombs bursting through the air line". You have to wonder how that played out in history....

Washington: "We need something that resonates freedom in the heart of men, and by men a mean free white men that own property. (Puff) Want a hit of this Jefferson?"

Jefferson: "No thanks. I'm cool."

Washington: "Come on man this is good shit. Slaves grew it right out of my backyard, helps me with glaucoma."

Madison: "Since when did you have glaucoma? You can't even clear up that syphillis. Pass that shit over here." (puff puff)

Washington: (puff puff)"Who told you about my syphillis?"

Madison: (puff puff)"You did. When you..... shit someone's coming. Quick put throw this away."

Washington: "You can't throw that. Swallow it."

Madison: "I'm not swallowing this shit. Here you swallow it."

Washington: "Pussy"(Swallows)

Jefferson: "Relax guys its Adams."

Adams: "Brought the beer."

Washington: "Shit John, now i gotta roll another."

Adams: "You got a whole acre of that growing on your property. If you were the real father of this country you would spread that seed everywhere in America so everyone can grow it for free and not have to depend on forgien third world countries, who benifit off the youth of america. You greedy bastard."

Jefferson: "So back to the problem at hand. Spicing up the 4th of July, so we can bring in bigger sponsors."

Madison: "Yeah Tom. The last few celebrations have lacked a little pow, a little flare you know what i mean?"

Adams: "Well you know... thanks george (puff puff). How about music? Because when we get piss drunk we always end up singing."

Jefferson: "Yeah and the most popular patoric song is the one that faggot Francis Scott Key wrote when he cried after he watch Fort McHenry being taken."

Madison: (puff puff) "Well let's put it to a english drinking song since that's all we know because we're from england. Something like To Anacreon in Heaven. Still needs some pow though."

Washington: "Anyone want to shotgun me...... Fine." (puff puff)

Jefferson: (humms Francis Scott Key song)

Washington: "I got it (long drag) we could blow shit up. You know like that line in the song, and rockets red glare the bombs bursting in air."

Adams: "You want to shoot fucking rockets at the crowd?"

Washington: "No no no man. This is on a whole nother level like explosives and shit. I've got a whole warehouse of these fireworks i bought from Ling Ling Chow when i purchase a soapy over in the little Asia district."

Madison: (puff puff)"What in the hell is a soapy?"

Washington: "Something Franklin introduced me to. Basiclly the woman washes your naked body with her naked body. Anyways (puff puff) these fireworks will kick ass."

Jefferson: "Brillant George. Your wacky tobaccy has solved another US crisis."

Wow i got a little caught up in that.... I don't even remember what the fuck i was talking about....... to lazy to scroll and look... much less read. Judging from the last view lines above i think its obvious that i was making a point on how fucking important the chinesse were... fireworks, laundry cleaning, and soapies.. and thanks for that transcontinetal railroad. I'm not sure if we still use that but i'm sure it was awesome.