Shark Attacks

I love shark attacks what can i say, i'm a sucker. With the 2 most recent attacks the news has reported, the tennesse kid attacked in Cape San Blas, Florida and the 14-year-old that that was killed saturday, i can't get enough. George Burgess, director of the Internation Shark Attack File, is doing his best to prevent a mob going on a shark hunt. He was on the CBS's Early Show recently and had a said a couple things i would like to comment on that the CBS anchors failed to. (that's why your morning blows CBS, sure we all like the Julie Chen, she's hot and asian, at least Diane and Charlie would of have been engaged in what the guy was saying, instead of reading the next softball question off a list you had the intern do) Here's Harry Smith's first question:

"Do you think these 2 attacks were related in anyway?"

George should have pulled off his mic and walked off after that first question. What in the hell is he suppose to say to that?

Great question Harry. This is actually a serial attacker that is lurking around the Florida coast, I advise everyone to stay away from the Florida coast the enjoy attratctions central Florida has to offer, Disney World and ghettos. We believe the attacker preys on young teenagers and is motivated by the 30 year anniversary of Jaws. I have contacted Roy Schieder to see if he will join me and Richard Dreyfus on a small boat to hunt this bull shark killer.

So painfully the interview continues and george talks about why were seeing an increase in shark attacks...

"We're simply flooding sharks out of their own environment"

Come on George.... we're flooding sharks out of the fucking ocean?? We're flooding alligators out of the swamp. yes. We're flooding moose, bears, and other land creatures out of their habitat, but flooding a sea creature out of the ocean is a joke. After that was addressed they moved on to my favorite part. Tips to avoid shark attacks and what to do when a shark attacks, but i make one last point about the invterview. Harry Smith 2nd questoin.

"Why do sharks attack?"

What the fuck Harry? Were you trying to just eat time? Poor George to has to answer that. To bad he didn't just start singing some Hall and Oates "Maneater" (i'd like to credit tombo for that one)

Harry: "why do sharks attack?"

George: (Oh-oh, here she comes) Watch out boy she'll chew you up
(Oh-oh, here she comes) She's a maneater
(Oh-oh, here she comes) Watch out boy she'll chew you up
(Oh-oh, here she comes) She's a maneater

Ok onto tips to avoid shark attack.

• Stay in a group
  
• Avoid the water at dawn and dusk
• Avoid areas where sharks are known to be present
  
• Stay close to shore

Ok i'm only going to touch on a one of these because like you i hate reading. Stay in a group... George goes on to talk elaborate..."They like isolated prey items. If you stay in a group, you will avoid that isolation factor. " .......... ok............

(don't worry kiddos your in a large group)



So your telling me if the people in Open Water had 2 more people with them those sharks would not have attacked. Am i the only one who watched discovery channel during shark week and notice the great whites finding seals swimming together and ripping them a new asshole? How do you explain Jaws 3 with all those skiers falling in the water together at the asument park and yet they still get attacked? and where is Spielberg been during these attacks shouldn't he be on Leno promoting War of the Worlds? You see cruise everywher promoting this movie. I have yet to see Spielberg. With Jaws 30th anniversary. these attacks. Spielberg's absence to promote his latest movie.....

Next was tips if you encounter shark.

• Get out of the water if you can
  
• Hit the shark
  
• Avoid thrashing
  
• Make your way toward other people

Hit the shark..... are you serious hit the shark. First i have to calm down and block the fact out of my mind that a shark is coming at me, find my chi, and hit the shark. I don't know about you but my underwater punching sucks and if i was to swing from the air into the water wouldn't that be violating rule #3 "avoid thrashing". I do agree with rule #4 "make your way toward people", hopefully one of them will be slower in the water, frozen from panic, or look like a seal, and get eaten

(all you got to do is punch it in the face before the shark eats you, timing is crucial)