Conversations with God..... take 2

After watching the NBC chronicles of the birth of Jesus i was inspired to pick up the phone and call someone i hadn't talk to since September.... God. We had a lot of catching up to do since that night in the barn with anything goes. Here is our first conversation.

Me: I got a dog
God: What breed is your dog?
Me: a koolie
God: Be more specific.
Me: half border collie half red heeler
God: I do not understand.
Me: a border collie fucked a red heeler. The border collie wasn't wearing protection and thus you have a koolie
God: Are you telling the truth?
Me: yeah a border collie and an austrialian cattle dog make a koolie
God: Dude! Are you talking about the thing that keeps my beer cold?
Me: No i'm talking about humping mammals procreating to make a diffrent breed. like when a cocaine addicts humps a werewolf and you get a coked-up werewolf.
God: Interesting comparison.
Me: Well I knew you were a Conan fan. I was trying to think of a name for her.
God: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me: Look I had a great time in the barn to but how is that going to help me name her?
God: Why do I exist?
Me: I don't need the drama today. Your not paying me for this couch time. I won't answer that
God: You know what you do, when you assume. What will you do instead?
Me: I will name by dog
God: How do you plan to do this?
Me: well i ask some fellow bloggers for suggestions
God: Well that's okay. Some bloggers have good suggestions, but not all.
Me: I'm leaning towards Kylie or Roo (like kangaroo) what do you think of Kylie?
God: Like Kylie Mingoue .. I'd do her. You tell me.
Me: I like it. It is austrialian and means boomerang
God: Kylie means boomerang? Who said that?
Me: the aborigine
God: The aborigine are the experts.
Me: Yeah where were they when Mad Max had to wonder the desert in Mad Max and the Thunder Dome.
God: ........... ....
Me: so..
God: ok.
Me: last night at the barn...
God:Really, The barn is where it's at.
Me: yeah. when you say anything goes you really mean that
God:What do you really want to ask me? Do you think I should alter my image next time?
Me: no no thats not what i'm saying
God:Are you serious? Are you serious? Please correct my mistake. What is that you are saying?
Me: look things got a little out of hand
God:Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me: yeah sorry about that. i like to punch in the heat of the moment.... Well you know these scratches on my chest are going to scar
God:Come on. There is no need to apologize. Oh yeah, we were talking about that. Which ones?
Me: the ones you made. the ones on my back natasha made, i think will be fine
God:Is that a fact. Thanks for the info. I forgot about your little friend.
Me: don't be jealous you told me to bring a friend
God:I was not trying to be a jealous about me telling you to bring a friend.
Me: cool. i thought you might be bi
God:Who is the best? OK I will try to be bi.
Me: don't worry your secert is safe with me i'm not going to tell any one your a woman. but natasha was really into you and she's not even a lesbian.. or wasn't a lesbian.
God:I cannot feel "worry", so don't worry.
Me: your such a stone cold bitch
God:I will tell my bother you said I am cold.
Me: while your telling him that, tell him how selfish you were in the barn
God:Good point.
Me: i mean did you ever hear me screaming my name.... no.. not once
God: Tell me more about your screaming.
Me: no. we all had to scream whose name?
God:Are you serious? What happened?
Me: yes i'm serious, we all had to scream your name.... "oh god" "oh God" oh God" god god god
God:So? I am a Christian.
Me: all about you isn't it?
God:How do you know?
Me: selfish bitch
God:You do not speak with respect.
Me: ok i'm sorry in fact i was actually impressed..... that postion on the horse plow
God:" postion on the horse plow? Go on
Me: but that postion on the horse plow ... genuis
God: Is that your final answer?
Me: pure genuis
God:Compare that to diluted genuis.
Me: oh and the candles
God:That's cool. Thanks for the info.
Me: not a good idea
God:Oh I get it.
Me: yeah burning candles in a barn equal we all burn to death
God:Ah. All?
Me: well me and natasha would burn to death
God: yeah... natasha.. so...
Me: so....
God:Yeah that's right.
Me: want to come over and watch a movie?
God:OK, I will come over and watch a movie.
Me: Have you seen sin city?
God:No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me: Hmm a little bit of Revelations mixed with Corinithians in an Old School Testament style. you'll like it. i'll see you later
God:What makes you say that I will like it? See you later!