Letters from forgotten friends..... 85'
Dear Menace,
Hi. Its me..... Snake Eyes. Its been so long... i... i don't know where to begin. I know I'm the last person you expected to hear from. It took some time to collect my thoughts and figure out what to write you.... I mean.. What do you say to the man that
left me for dead in sand hill collapse of '88..... You never came for me. I waited in that dark cold cave with one air hole. I lived off mud cakes and rain water for 2 months. 2 FUCKING MONTHS! Eventually, I was shoveled out by a Puerto Rican man and taken hostage. He passed me off to his kid, who used me as his personal toothpick. I was forced to sleep with the chickens outside like an animal and spent many nights inside a dogs mouth..... and yes once he had to crap he me out....... i lost my soul that day.... that day i knew you weren't coming for me. Why?
Was easier to replace me?... You oh me some answers. Why did you leave me in the sand? What the fuck was I even doing in the sand? I'm a fucking ninja... Ninjas don't belong in the sand. I was buried alive for 2 months.... why didn't you come for me, why didn't you keep digging? I thought I was your favorite. I hope you can live with what you did to me.. you'll have plenty of time to think about it in hell. . ...... ..... ......... ....anyways..... its been a long time... and i'm not asking you for anything... all i want is what's mine? Can you sent me back my uzi submachine gun, black backpack, black sword, and tell me where i can pick up my grey wolf, Timber, Bazzoka Joe was watching him at the time of the accident? I'll pay you back for the postage after a find a steady job.... Ninja Skills aren't in high demand like they use to be in the 80's. The starbucks down the street has an opening... so.. you can at least cross your fingers for me. Don't try and contact me, you'll never find me. Just send me my stuff and you can go on pretending that i died in that sand collapse.
Your #1 Joe,
Snake Eyes
P.S. - Did Lady J have that abortion like I told her to get?
P.P.S. Is Duke still an asshole?
Hi. Its me..... Snake Eyes. Its been so long... i... i don't know where to begin. I know I'm the last person you expected to hear from. It took some time to collect my thoughts and figure out what to write you.... I mean.. What do you say to the man that
left me for dead in sand hill collapse of '88..... You never came for me. I waited in that dark cold cave with one air hole. I lived off mud cakes and rain water for 2 months. 2 FUCKING MONTHS! Eventually, I was shoveled out by a Puerto Rican man and taken hostage. He passed me off to his kid, who used me as his personal toothpick. I was forced to sleep with the chickens outside like an animal and spent many nights inside a dogs mouth..... and yes once he had to crap he me out....... i lost my soul that day.... that day i knew you weren't coming for me. Why?Was easier to replace me?... You oh me some answers. Why did you leave me in the sand? What the fuck was I even doing in the sand? I'm a fucking ninja... Ninjas don't belong in the sand. I was buried alive for 2 months.... why didn't you come for me, why didn't you keep digging? I thought I was your favorite. I hope you can live with what you did to me.. you'll have plenty of time to think about it in hell. . ...... ..... ......... ....anyways..... its been a long time... and i'm not asking you for anything... all i want is what's mine? Can you sent me back my uzi submachine gun, black backpack, black sword, and tell me where i can pick up my grey wolf, Timber, Bazzoka Joe was watching him at the time of the accident? I'll pay you back for the postage after a find a steady job.... Ninja Skills aren't in high demand like they use to be in the 80's. The starbucks down the street has an opening... so.. you can at least cross your fingers for me. Don't try and contact me, you'll never find me. Just send me my stuff and you can go on pretending that i died in that sand collapse.
Your #1 Joe,
Snake Eyes
P.S. - Did Lady J have that abortion like I told her to get?
P.P.S. Is Duke still an asshole?
posted by Johnny Menace at 12:47 PM
23 Comments:
snake eyes needs to quit his bitching & suck it up. did they teach whining in boot camp? if he was worth a shit as a ninja, he could've easily escaped the puerto ricans when the went out to buy spray paint & cocaine.
p.s.
lady j was a dyke.
tell joe? who in the hell is joe? stick with your my little pony crap.
rm - your talking about one fucking Destro.. she obviously is into bondage or metal face fetish.. and she wears glasses.. poor choice.
jen - ah yes ... the movies you can get based of your cock size.
shane - i don't think you understand how epic a battle this was.. i lost a lot of men that day.. even Shipwreck's parrot... damn thing never stay on his arm.
Man, Snake Eyes is a fighter. It's not easy for ninjas these days. I hope you both can put all this shit behind you and I think you should at least give his stuff back.
jene - quit eating paint.
barret - don't go soft on ninjas. They had it good in the late 80's early 90's. Now pirates are back on top.. and that's how it is.
rm - you see glasses to dump your spunk on... i see a woman that would fuck a guy with a metal mask on.
storm - at least we know what was in important to you as a kid... making sure GI Joe got some.
by the way that is a huge bitch for GI Joe to mount. Barbie is twice his size.
Snake Eyes. Always a fave. I hope that Starbucks thing works out for him....he's got the skills to really move the line along.
Snake Eyes has a lot of balls contacting you like that. You obviously told him to eat shit way back in the day. Fucking prodigal son. He can eat a dick. I did the same thing with my MicroMachines as soon as I got a small penis complex and moved on to HotWheels. There is an entire graveyard of 'em at 17 Preston Hills.
You did the right thing.
Blake
i'm fucking howling!
u kill me...if this were true...which i know it is NOT...u would be the biggest mother fucker ever and would have gained my full respect forever...alas i know this is a load of crap...but it's fucking hIlarious nonetheless....kick it mofo.
Dude, that pic brings back so many memories, hahahaha. Holy shit.
And to think I still have all of those things somewhere....
glo - he can do better than starbucks.
right? - i don't recommend reading at all.
everglade - its a given that snake eyes has balls. big ninja balls.
mitz - there is nothing false about the great snad collapse of 88'. I lost a lot of men that day.
wes - i wonder if they are worth anything?
what about JEM? Think GI Joe could handle her? She's like 3 times as big a barbie.
what in the hell is JEM?
holy shit!
i have snakeeyes in my parents basemet somewhere
time to dig him out, next time i'm home
why did you have gi joes? tell me those were your brothers.
The ultimate cartoon rock star, of course http://www.jemunlimited.com/
if you played with barbies, I figured you'd know who she is
3 years? Sheesh, that's longer than I thought. ;)
Pssst, wanna know a secret? I'm not married! :D
Sorry, I'll explain in another post.
Are you messing with Kurt? Or did you not see my last comment? Or, are you messing with me?
'Cause, if you're messing with me, I just got off the graveyard and I'm very vulnerable at the moment.
Now I've gone and confused myself more!
jamie - is that rocker slut barbie? or is it a whole other thing. If my sis had it i'm sure it ended up with its head cut off in the end.
jenn - you really shouldn't have told me that. Now i'm just going to have fun with those people who are mad at me for saying it will only last 3 years........ actually you did good in telling me....
Haha, have at it! I was actually wondering if that's what you were doing with Kurt.
See, I'm a good girl. I told you. =P
PS They'll probably come look at your blog and see my comments. ;)
poor baby...so sorry. :(
i'll work on the black man, orange, tub of butter and whatnot.......no they aren't elbows...smarty pants. ;P
jenn - i'm hoping for a backlash for tricking everyone...
mitz - in that order?
jene - i'm sorry your family couldn't afford Barbies and that you had to play with your brothers hand me downs..
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