Tagged
Shane has tagged me to write something. ..... thanks.... your just delaying my part II... I'm to list 5 of my idiosyncrasies.... which are always pointed out to you by someone else, for example...........
"Why do you pull your balls out when we watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit and rub veggie dip on them?"
"...... i do?.. nut uh.... really....... oh shit i guess i am...wow i never noticed that until you pointed it out........ can you get me towel?"
Then you start to think you have a cool idiosyncracy that no one else has and it makes you stand out in high school and increases your popularity, then you hit college and brag to everyone about your idiosyncracy and turns out 5 of your other frat brothers do it also but with various dips and sauces, and then you start arguing over who saw the Who Framed Roger Rabbit first and who took dip into the theater, how you snuck the dip in. Then you realize the only way to settle things is to go rent the movie and................. where in the hell was i going with this...........
So i thought i would let other people list my idiosyncracies, a friend, the asian lady that does my dry cleaning, a co-worker, and a stranger (prefably a carnie). Before i get to that what's with the poll... everyone would rather vote cartoon dads.. i can't believe phillip banks and micheal bluth get no love........ ok lets get this over with.
The Friend's list (big dave)
1. "you do this circular motion with my finger when ordering a round of patron, and only that liquor, its like you get excited about it"
2. "you've never eaten a hamburger at a fash food joint, you always get chicken, fish, or something else..... its all about the fries"
3. "Your scottish accent sounds like an indian gas station clerk."
4."You don't bother to flip your collar down after you put on a shirt, and you just walk around all day with it 3/4 up.... always. Flip your fucking collar down."
5. "You want drink bud, coors, or miller, and if you have to drink your in a pissy mood the entire time"
side note: My favorite big dave quote in public setting "Elizabeth Smart is a slut. She got what she deserved. You know she wanted it............... Slut." nothing but silence, every woman's jaw dropped, every guy on the floor laughing.
The Asian Lady at my dry clean place
1. -- ok seriously i asked her as non shalant as possible and she just started smiling and nodding. I started to dumb down the definition of idiosyncracy then there was a long akward pause...... then she called for someone in back (screamed something in asain), this guy comes out, i assume her husband, says "is problem?". I say no and ask him what my idiosyncracies are.. and tell him i only need five... he replies "so no problem with clothes?".... I say no and walk out..... So sorry i gave up at that point..... it got really uncomfortable in there near, probably since i was the only one that spoke english. I should have gone after school was out when they have one of their daughters there. Reguardless i can't go in there again... i'm going to have to go to the asian place across the street...... probably the same family... thanks shane
Co-worker's list
1. You always take the Grandma's vanilla cookies and Cheez Its in the vending machine
2. I always see you at the vending machine/walking out to get food/taking a break
3 The vending machine is making you fat
4. You always kick the bathroom door open, never touch it with your hands
5. Your smirk is evil.
wow.... can't get enough of that office humor...... thanks shane.
Stanger's list (guy i talked to in the parking garage elevator while we went to the same floor)
Appartently its taboo to talk in the elevelator to people. This guy was really uncomfortable and only said about 5 sentences to me, I'll take them as answers and list them in order of what he said you get to guess what i said to him to make him say the following 5 sentences.
1. "....... excuse me?"
2. "I'm fine and no... no i'm not..."
3. "Maybe if i knew you"
4. "Sounds a little to wierd to me"
5. "look can you just hit this floor i'd like to get off here. Thank you."
the guy wouldn't even give me his name. Ok there you have it other people's view of my idiosyncracies.... not that funny... in fact i should have just made something up... but if it wasted your time you can thank shane..... i will spare all of you and not tag anyone.......... ....... .... fuck that.... i had to do this someone else is doing this.....and i pick these people purely for entertainment
pbc - i can only hope it is offensive
eddie - hopefully he'll rap it
moo cow - this is like a great accident on the highway.
"Why do you pull your balls out when we watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit and rub veggie dip on them?"
"...... i do?.. nut uh.... really....... oh shit i guess i am...wow i never noticed that until you pointed it out........ can you get me towel?"
Then you start to think you have a cool idiosyncracy that no one else has and it makes you stand out in high school and increases your popularity, then you hit college and brag to everyone about your idiosyncracy and turns out 5 of your other frat brothers do it also but with various dips and sauces, and then you start arguing over who saw the Who Framed Roger Rabbit first and who took dip into the theater, how you snuck the dip in. Then you realize the only way to settle things is to go rent the movie and................. where in the hell was i going with this...........So i thought i would let other people list my idiosyncracies, a friend, the asian lady that does my dry cleaning, a co-worker, and a stranger (prefably a carnie). Before i get to that what's with the poll... everyone would rather vote cartoon dads.. i can't believe phillip banks and micheal bluth get no love........ ok lets get this over with.
The Friend's list (big dave)
1. "you do this circular motion with my finger when ordering a round of patron, and only that liquor, its like you get excited about it"
2. "you've never eaten a hamburger at a fash food joint, you always get chicken, fish, or something else..... its all about the fries"
3. "Your scottish accent sounds like an indian gas station clerk."
4."You don't bother to flip your collar down after you put on a shirt, and you just walk around all day with it 3/4 up.... always. Flip your fucking collar down."
5. "You want drink bud, coors, or miller, and if you have to drink your in a pissy mood the entire time"
side note: My favorite big dave quote in public setting "Elizabeth Smart is a slut. She got what she deserved. You know she wanted it............... Slut." nothing but silence, every woman's jaw dropped, every guy on the floor laughing.
The Asian Lady at my dry clean place
1. -- ok seriously i asked her as non shalant as possible and she just started smiling and nodding. I started to dumb down the definition of idiosyncracy then there was a long akward pause...... then she called for someone in back (screamed something in asain), this guy comes out, i assume her husband, says "is problem?". I say no and ask him what my idiosyncracies are.. and tell him i only need five... he replies "so no problem with clothes?".... I say no and walk out..... So sorry i gave up at that point..... it got really uncomfortable in there near, probably since i was the only one that spoke english. I should have gone after school was out when they have one of their daughters there. Reguardless i can't go in there again... i'm going to have to go to the asian place across the street...... probably the same family... thanks shane
Co-worker's list
1. You always take the Grandma's vanilla cookies and Cheez Its in the vending machine
2. I always see you at the vending machine/walking out to get food/taking a break
3 The vending machine is making you fat
4. You always kick the bathroom door open, never touch it with your hands
5. Your smirk is evil.
wow.... can't get enough of that office humor...... thanks shane.
Stanger's list (guy i talked to in the parking garage elevator while we went to the same floor)
Appartently its taboo to talk in the elevelator to people. This guy was really uncomfortable and only said about 5 sentences to me, I'll take them as answers and list them in order of what he said you get to guess what i said to him to make him say the following 5 sentences.
1. "....... excuse me?"
2. "I'm fine and no... no i'm not..."
3. "Maybe if i knew you"
4. "Sounds a little to wierd to me"
5. "look can you just hit this floor i'd like to get off here. Thank you."
the guy wouldn't even give me his name. Ok there you have it other people's view of my idiosyncracies.... not that funny... in fact i should have just made something up... but if it wasted your time you can thank shane..... i will spare all of you and not tag anyone.......... ....... .... fuck that.... i had to do this someone else is doing this.....and i pick these people purely for entertainment
pbc - i can only hope it is offensive
eddie - hopefully he'll rap it
moo cow - this is like a great accident on the highway.
posted by Johnny Menace at 6:40 PM
17 Comments:
That's some funny chit man... Especially the dude in the elevator and the asian lady's husband asking you "Is Problem?" Ha!!! Phillip Banks definetly needs to get votes man. He'd be great in a boxing match.
YOU ARE ONE HILARIOUS MOTHER, DUDE! OMG! I'm STILL LAUGHING!!!!! balls n dip....aaa hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa......! just made my day.
oh and tag u're IT! (sorry but u left me a note so i did my tag about u...if u want to see what i wrote, check out me bloggee) ;P
j - yeah, i pretty sure this guy knows every dry cleaing phrase in english but step out of that realm and he has no fucking clue what you are talking about.
nat - and to think i never found that infamous nude frame of Jessica Rabbit in the movie. 5 years wasted.
mitz - jesus... my note was about tequilla flavored jello and this is how you repay me.... i'm like the fat kid getting tagged by everyone.
no worries dude! no need to fulfill the prophecy...i'll just go cry in a corner now...boo hoo hoo! jk.....i hate tags too....so skip it! my bad. ;P
oh no... i'm not shying away from a tag.. in fact they might even fall under guilty pleasure
Have you checked out my blog? You won...
sharon - take your ridalin
veeb - you were betting against the house on that one.
This was hilarious. If ever I longed for something random to become a blog-phenomenon it would be randomly asking people to list your idiosyncracies....but the Bert terror alert weren't too bad neither....
i dunno how often you check your e-mail, but our url changed, no time to explain. just click on my name to get there.
Another Menace Idiosyncracy: expresses himself with gusto and vehemence, often with cursing.
sharon - its just an idiosyncracy
glo - yeah i should have just told the people i tagged to ask random people instead of list it themselves.
shane - never got an email. what's with the change?
jamie - see i would have never guessed that. Thanks for pointing that out. like a Tom Cruise vehemence or where you thinking more like a Patrick Duffy vehemence?
a few workplace issues. btw, pbc may not play along w/ the tag thing due to probation stipulations. so you may have to wait until mid october when he's off.
guilty pleasure is a sin....which means u must be a sinner....AWESOMERAD!
big dave.... aw man.... I have no clue as to why that's so funny, but it is... oh it is....
Crazy TC...of course!
shane - is that an annual august tradition from him?
sharon - just think of shit i would say if i was above cute.
mitz - depends on who you worship
wes - yeah it landed him in some trouble at work.
jamie - of course
barbie - "very interesting, but funny" your use to reading just funny or interesting by themselves?
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