Gas Solutoin

Everytime gas goes up the news lets us know as if we can't read numbers while driving. Well you got your wish you bastards gas is on its way to euro prices... Some of us blame the president and is engery bill he signed, some blame gas companies, some army eningeers, some blame jews(these people tend to blame jews for everything) some blame Katrina.... and only a bitch named Katrina could do that much damage... what a horrible white trash/ghetto name for a hurricane... If the national weather people knew this was going to destory cities i really think they would have given the hurricane a better name than Katrina...(but the hurricane is a whole other post) ... back to my point.... Lets quit blaming the prez and hurricane and focus on those who are really to blame for not bringing a solution to this problem to begin with..... and let's start with.....

Scotland

I know.... I know... I like Braveheart to.... but look.... Scotland, you have the Roslin Institute.... Why aren't you fucking cloning gas for us? Why? Why? Why? I know you have a necessatiy for sheep..... we all love dolly, congrats... how many more farm animals are on the cloning list before we get actual shit that the world could benafit from? Here's a list of what you need to start cloning...

gas
medical drugs
regular drugs
carmen electra (a young version the orginal is starting to get old)
Chris Farley
Jimi Hendrix
Red Bull (the shit is to expensive for suck a small can)
a liger

One sheep is good enough, its not like sheep were going to be extinct anytime soon.. in fact ViaGen, Inc in Austin, TX is cloning horses they have the farm animals covered. If you were cloning William Wallace, The Loch Ness Monster or Duncan McCloud of the clan McCloud we would wait but not for fucking farm animals. Has this even been brought up before to make the list?

(1997, the Roslin Institute)

Bruce : Hey James. Look at that puddle of puss. Can you believe that's going to be a fooking sheep?
James: It is mircale of techonolgy, Brucey. Don't you ever get the feeling we good help mankind with this cloning techonolgy with something useful like gasoline or prescription drugs?
Bruce:... I'm not really made to think. You should bring that up in tommorow's meeting when they make the list on what to clone next.
James: You think they would go for that.
Bruce: I don't know Campbell is really jazzed about cloning dog and fish.
James: Yeah well will see I've got some great ideas and reasons. I just need to write them down before I...
Bruce:....... I'll give you 20 pounds if you stick your finger in that puss...
James: ..... yeah but i really need to write this down...
Bruce: .... shut up for a mintue fag.... ok .... ok.... 120 pounds... stick your finger in Dolly and put in on your tongue.
James: ..... 120..... to stick it on my tongue...... no way....
Bruce: hold on... hold on..... Hey Liam... how much would you throw in for James to stick his tongue in Dolly for......... ok Liam is throwing in 100 pounds to... so 220... 220 fooking pounds.
James: fooks sake man i'll do it..
Bruce: Liam! He's going to do it....
(sadly James got sick for a month and never made the meeting)

And don't give me "the we can't clone gasoline." If you can clone an animal through electro fusion you can fucking clone gas. We all know europe wants us to go down in flames and pay high prices like them..... i mean take a look at what they did after the hurricane... they sent thier deepest apologies..... Couldn't they at least make a jester to help like when you eat with your family and you know your dad is going to pay but you reach for your wallett and act like your going to pay until he tells you to save it and you can start paying when you get a real job...... the friend that is going through hard times but still offers to pay but you don't let them because you know thier financial situation... or the person that offers to pay so you forget they are Nazi's planning to dominate the world again.

"What you want to send us blankets, wine and cheese for the survivors? no, no, no france that's quite alright wait until you get a real ecomony and don't have to rely on the euro and cover some real news instead of lance armstrong... let it go, we are good at everysport"....

"No No England we couldn't possibly let you help, you have the subway bomb damage to think about... thanks for offering though"

"Sorry Germany, just because you offer to help out doesn't mean we are letting you have an army again, if we do that then next thing you Japan will want one"

All i'm saying is you could have offered to help instead of sending us a fucking hallmark card.... We'll remember that come Christmas time when we get you all socks.... except for the Swiss they are actually sending money and supplies... your getting a sweater from old navy.

Oh and Kuwait remember that time you didn't have a country... and your people were like dying and caputured into slavery..... yeah that sucked.... and uh.... you remember..... how uhmmmm we kinda of came over about oh i don't know 12 years ago...... remember ..... and we like restored your goverment, restablished your country, and saved your people from mass genocide....... remember..... and we uhmmmm kept Sadam out of your country from then on out...... that was cool....... You think you could give us some fucking oil, its been 12 years and I don't remember us breathing down your neck those 12 years to pay up..... we only saved you from extinction its not like you owe us everything.