Mom's box of random shit (First edition)
Ok... how to a preface this.... ....... My parents live in Hot Lanta... my mom will from time to time... oh.. once a month.. send me a box of stuff. Random, random, random ass stuff....
a newspaper article she thought i should read
a he-man she found in the attic and didn't know if i wanted to keep it
to q-tips
a book
a binder
a lamp shade
green tea....
well you get the point.. So i thought i would go ahead and add this to the johnny menace franchise along with Fight Night by taking a picture of everything she sends and call it Mom's box of random shit and let you guess what in the hell she was thinking and then i'll call her up and write down her reason for sending it......
Ok... so here we have his and her Chocolate Thongs, a coupon for 15% off at Foleys and a travel bag to put your underwear in..... you should see what i get for christmas
Text from the back:
As soon as he puts on this thong, the heat from his body will begin to melt the chocolate heart. She will join in. This is a thong for two people to enjoy. Soon there will be no need for a thong. Lick away...
Contents: One heart shaped Chocolate Thong for him to wear.
Caution: Only the chocolate heart is edible. Do not eat the red elastic string attachments.
Ingredients: Belgian Milk Chocolate (sugar, cocoa butter, milk powder, cocoa liquor, lecithin, vanilla)
The website in the bottom reads www.tomandsallys.com
And for all the nutrution nuts.
Nutrition Facts
Serving size 42g
Total Fat 13g
Saturated Fat 8g
Cholesterol 5mg
Total Carbs 25g
Dieatary Fiber 1g
Sugars 24g
Protein 3gs
Hope you enjoy that. I can't promise they will contain sexual content in them but they will be full of random shit.
a newspaper article she thought i should read
a he-man she found in the attic and didn't know if i wanted to keep it
to q-tips
a book
a binder
a lamp shade
green tea....
well you get the point.. So i thought i would go ahead and add this to the johnny menace franchise along with Fight Night by taking a picture of everything she sends and call it Mom's box of random shit and let you guess what in the hell she was thinking and then i'll call her up and write down her reason for sending it......
Ok... so here we have his and her Chocolate Thongs, a coupon for 15% off at Foleys and a travel bag to put your underwear in..... you should see what i get for christmas
Text from the back:
As soon as he puts on this thong, the heat from his body will begin to melt the chocolate heart. She will join in. This is a thong for two people to enjoy. Soon there will be no need for a thong. Lick away...
Contents: One heart shaped Chocolate Thong for him to wear.
Caution: Only the chocolate heart is edible. Do not eat the red elastic string attachments.
Ingredients: Belgian Milk Chocolate (sugar, cocoa butter, milk powder, cocoa liquor, lecithin, vanilla)
The website in the bottom reads www.tomandsallys.com
And for all the nutrution nuts.
Nutrition Facts
Serving size 42g
Total Fat 13g
Saturated Fat 8g
Cholesterol 5mg
Total Carbs 25g
Dieatary Fiber 1g
Sugars 24g
Protein 3gs
Hope you enjoy that. I can't promise they will contain sexual content in them but they will be full of random shit.
posted by Johnny Menace at 1:47 PM
29 Comments:
Your mom is too cute! I bet they were a gag gift to her and she is re-gifting... At least that is what I hope it is because if she saw chocolate thongs and thought of her son something might be seriously wrong...
can it be used as a cock ring?
That sounds like something that my mom would do... haha!
thank you anonymous... you are so wise.... wait until the next box arrives with a Dear Abby article out of the newspaper, a bathroom mat, and a picture of my dog in it... and then will see what you say...
i guess i mean you see the picture on the back.. the thing has a hole in it... and anything with a hole is subject for your cock to go in... donuts, washers, chocolate thongs, beagals, inner tubes, ect.
lilth - oh so you have a pair of chocolate thongs... that you will never use because..... uhmm.... your mom sent them to you?
storm - i was hoping you could tell me... but say tune for when i call her and find out on the weekend.
Wait, your MOM bought you a chocolate thong????? I don't even think my mom knows what a thong is, other than flip-flops.
ahh reminds me of when my mom sent me a shit ton of colored and flavored condoms in undergrad.
mom's. such crack heads.
I've never seen or heard of anyhing like this. This is outstanding.... and terrifying.... all at the same time....
Where's the submissive chick....
moo cow - all i have is chocolate obviously
midwest - flip flops would have been alright... which brings me to the question where did she go and buy this ... where was she shopping at the time to say " Oh you know what i'll take some of those chocolate thongs to send to my son"
jen - Maybe for x-mas you'll get some choco thongs to.
butt - she must know you like things in your mouth... wonder how she knew that? i mean she could of gotten you ribbed.. or thin.. but she knew you needed flavor...... interesting.
wes - excellent point.. which brings up a major problem.. can you use a sex product your mom gives you?
Your mom sent you that! WoW! She seems pretty down to earth, or really freaking out there. Did you have this and she found it, or she bought it for you????
Your mom sent you a chocolate thong. This may be something my mind never wraps around, JM. Ha,ha...yeah. My mind went dirty after I typed that but I decided to leave it as it was.
So, what was she thinking? Isn't that obvious?
OMG that is absolutely hilarious. Gotta keep things interesting. Have you mentioned anything to her about starting a new relationship? Nobody knows you like your mum....what is it that you are not telling us Johnny? ;-P
von smartass - yes a kick ass date at Foley's... and then we place our underwear in the bag... and open up the chocolate thongs...
beck - i don't know yet... haven't called to ask.
rm - yes but i always lose them in bases i dig for them out of dirt mounds... i will never forget the great cave in of 88 many a GI Joes were lost... snake eyes among them.
glo - feel free to point out the obvious
anna - let me do a quick phone conversation with my mom... and there is a lot i don't tell you...
"Hello"
"what are you doing"
"nothing, mom"
"well don't know much... your father and i went to ......... .....and the weather here has been...... ...... i was reading......(15 mintues pass) did you get that package i sent?"
"yes.. i gotta go to work, bye."
i just went back & read the katrina bracelet post & comments. i noticed you gave me credit for the "float back to africa" slogan when in fact it was pbc. curious1 didn't seem to think it was too funny.........
Sweet! A chocolate thong!
I'm jealous.. all my mom does is sit in a ziploc bag in my dad's dresser drawer all day.
I should mix a spoonful of her with my coffee and see if it tastes good.
Well, it's at least nice to know that your mother assumes you're getting some. It's good to have parents who have faith in you.
shane - yeah he hasn't been back since...... so your saying you wish you would of thought of that?
all s - your mom should get out more.
alysha - its good to know that my mom worries about the important things.
moo cow - your cow fasicanation is frightening and scares me.
alright i talk to her and she bought the choco thong back in january, when she happend to be in some store buying things for her friends.. and saw the choco thong thought it would be funny to send me and thought that i would enjoy it.... then she had to slip in "your dad enjoyed it"..... i'll get drinking scotch all night to lost that memory... the underwear bag she thought i needed for travel.... and the foley's coupon was in case i was going to buy myself something... apparently she thinks i shop at Foley's..
johnny, i try to keep my racism more subtle. pbc on the other hand has actually been to a sons of the confederacy rally.
and i agree w/ johnny; moo cow you're seriously fucked up. hot, but fucked up!
Ah, thanks for commenting on my blog. I had lost your URL. Anyways, that cabbagetown boring nonsense blog is for my parent's benefit. The new, actual one is located at http://prematurenostalgia.blogspot.com
Enjoy!
Well you gotta give her credit for creativity.
I haven't gotten a box of bizarre shit in years, always embarrassed me and my friends thought it was great...can you believe I'm now missing those stupid-sweet-WTF boxes now?
PS
Johnny I keep forgetting to give you this.
Everytime I go there I think of you...I don't know what that says about either of us...but anyway
http://outhousereading.blogspot.com/
shane - yeah.. she has that i can stab you when your not looking or sleeping at anytime look.
sleaze - lost... what a lame exuse.
perd - i enjoyed the halloween costume the most on that site... if i can find that at a store i will be wearing that for halloween.
i never get chocolate thongs,...looks fucking tasty tho...to eat...and i'm not into chics...so fuck that.
if I run into your parents around town, I'll direct them to your blog...
Mitz - you can always by yourself a choco thing..... and... uhmmmm .... thanks for letting us know your not into chicks.
jaime - They wouldn't understand what your talking about.
PUNCH OUT! God I loved that game. I'm going to buy an old nintento now. Thank you!
thank you for reading this post which had nothing to do with Punch Out.
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