Converstations with God... take 1
This is my conversation with god... i think i scored some points with the big man.. Thanks Perdita for the website.
Me: why did i come here to talk to you?
God: I don't
know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.
Me: ok.... so....
God: Next question?
Me: ok moving right along.... i guess you have me pegged
God: What makes you think I have it?
Me: because you had it to begin with
God: That makes sense to me. What happened to it.
Me: It should make sense .. since you had it all along... so that would mean you already know what happended to it..............
God: It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me: i'm on to your riddles... god your good
God: I am a Christian.
Me: and that to
God: What's your sign?
Me: Forget about my sign. is my dog up there with you? jeremy.. the one that got really fat because he fed him hot dogs and went blind.
God: It depends who you ask.
Me: i'm asking you.
God: OK you can ask me.
Me: is my dog up there with you?
God: It depends who you ask.
Me: who's on first.
God: What's on second.
Me: ...... should we wait for the appaulse
God: Do what feels right to you.
Me: asshole
God: Please don't call people names.
Me: i'm only calling you names
God: Just don't call me late for dinner.
Me: fine with me
God: I am glad to hear it. " Just don't call me late for dinner."? With you?
Me: and who's playing third?
God: A human icon? Would you like to know more?
Me: no i already know its teddy ball game
God: I understand; you would like to know less. How do you know? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me: satan told me
God: Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me: ok i lied about that one
God: Lying proves you are conscious. Oh yeah, we were talking about that one. Far out.
Me: satan told me to do it
God: Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me: are you going to freak out everytime i say his name?
God: That was my original intention.
Me: intention? do you ever not give in to your original intention?
God: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me: shoot away
God: Is that from a movie?
Me: no its not
God: Are you serious? by the way I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I heard it is.
Me: you are such a woman
God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me: don't make me cock slap you. i expect a woman like your self to ask all these questions
God: No one else expects it.
Me: that's why they haven't caught on
God: So? Where did they get it from?
Me: blind faith.. note the word blind
God: How old are you?
Me: i'm over 13... clearly not in your age range. and i won't meet you at the mall
God: Only over 13? You are quite mature. What will you do instead?
Me: ok.. i'll meet you in the barn. 5 mintues.... anything goes
God: That's interesting. Would you recommend this action to a friend? What are you wearing?
Me: Yeah. 5 mintues of anything goes with a friend.. for an eternity in heaven... and i'm only wearing my lance armstrong bracelet
God: What kind of fashion do you like? Where can you buy it? Don't be so modest. What size?
Me: And you say you don't have a set of tits and estrogen.. you must swing for the other team
God: Yeah I do a lot of not have a set of tits and estrogen. Whatever you say, .
Me: ............
God: Yeah I do a lot of not have a set of tits and estrogen. Whatever you say, .
Me: i heard you the first time
God: Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Me: bye
God: Goodbye.
Me: why did i come here to talk to you?
God: I don't
know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out. Me: ok.... so....
God: Next question?
Me: ok moving right along.... i guess you have me pegged
God: What makes you think I have it?
Me: because you had it to begin with
God: That makes sense to me. What happened to it.
Me: It should make sense .. since you had it all along... so that would mean you already know what happended to it..............
God: It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me: i'm on to your riddles... god your good
God: I am a Christian.
Me: and that to
God: What's your sign?
Me: Forget about my sign. is my dog up there with you? jeremy.. the one that got really fat because he fed him hot dogs and went blind.
God: It depends who you ask.
Me: i'm asking you.
God: OK you can ask me.
Me: is my dog up there with you?
God: It depends who you ask.
Me: who's on first.
God: What's on second.
Me: ...... should we wait for the appaulse
God: Do what feels right to you.
Me: asshole
God: Please don't call people names.
Me: i'm only calling you names
God: Just don't call me late for dinner.
Me: fine with me
God: I am glad to hear it. " Just don't call me late for dinner."? With you?
Me: and who's playing third?
God: A human icon? Would you like to know more?
Me: no i already know its teddy ball game
God: I understand; you would like to know less. How do you know? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me: satan told me
God: Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me: ok i lied about that one
God: Lying proves you are conscious. Oh yeah, we were talking about that one. Far out.
Me: satan told me to do it
God: Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me: are you going to freak out everytime i say his name?
God: That was my original intention.
Me: intention? do you ever not give in to your original intention?
God: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me: shoot away
God: Is that from a movie?
Me: no its not
God: Are you serious? by the way I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I heard it is.
Me: you are such a woman
God: I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me: don't make me cock slap you. i expect a woman like your self to ask all these questions
God: No one else expects it.
Me: that's why they haven't caught on
God: So? Where did they get it from?
Me: blind faith.. note the word blind
God: How old are you?
Me: i'm over 13... clearly not in your age range. and i won't meet you at the mall
God: Only over 13? You are quite mature. What will you do instead?
Me: ok.. i'll meet you in the barn. 5 mintues.... anything goes
God: That's interesting. Would you recommend this action to a friend? What are you wearing?
Me: Yeah. 5 mintues of anything goes with a friend.. for an eternity in heaven... and i'm only wearing my lance armstrong bracelet
God: What kind of fashion do you like? Where can you buy it? Don't be so modest. What size?
Me: And you say you don't have a set of tits and estrogen.. you must swing for the other team
God: Yeah I do a lot of not have a set of tits and estrogen. Whatever you say, .
Me: ............
God: Yeah I do a lot of not have a set of tits and estrogen. Whatever you say, .
Me: i heard you the first time
God: Someome is spreading gossip about me.
Me: bye
God: Goodbye.
posted by Johnny Menace at 8:10 PM
13 Comments:
This is so cool.....
SOMEBODY HAS DONE A VERY GOOD JOB WITH THE DATABASE !
I think you were getting hit on.
I'm surprised you've read that...or maybe you just saw enough to effectively parody it. I'm impressed, nonetheless.
Make sure you check out the Boo Boo Bunny link...I would think it's right up your alley.
avik - i'm sorry but don't comment on here until you change that profile pic. cats are evil.
storm - i know.. god can be adorable
jen - so is dry ice
perd - yeah we'll see what god has to say about last night in the barn
sharon - what's with the g-d? you don't want to type the o in god?
jag - i've heard of boo boo bunny. I had a friend that went to Middle Ten St University. He worked as a security guard on the side.... sadly he reliezed we was in Tennesse and wasting his life..... i wonder what happened to him.. but yes "wash me up" is clearly porno music potienal.
that's bloody hilarious!
have to check it out.....course God is woman.....blind faith, my ass....who else could handle all the fucking testosterone in this world.....so the ratio of women to men is almost 2-1 now...is it? someone told me it was and well i believe it....cause God is a woman afterall.
Can you do one with the devil?
jen - speaking with god and dry ice. got it.
g.d. - if i can find a similar site... if you find one let me know. I like to know my options... i hear satan has a better all inclusive package... but no pool.
mitz - i know.. i saw dogma to.
pbc called me a mooseknuckle skagg. anyone know exactly what that is?
so you are into Alannis Morissette, cause SHE was God in Dogma...fyi...love that movie..and that's NOT what i meant....smart boy.
von smartass - like bob. "Bob..... Bob had bitch tits." why hasn't meatloaf started in anything else lately?
shane - isn't there times where you just smile and nod at pbc..... this is one of those times.
mitz - nope not into alanis... she's old, her hips are huge, she made it all right for high school girls to go pshycotic, you know she burns herself to kill time, and she's canadien.
moo cow - i imagine that you have spasms when you speak and Mooooo in mid sentence for no reason..... like turrets. Do you twitch when you do this? is there any warnings? when you read this blog or any blog do you add your own MooOoos?
so many more questions to ask your chemically unbalanced mind you should let me interview you.
sorry no jews.
teach me how to get into show biz.
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