Searching for White Devil... (Day 27)
"My life is a slut..my dick doesnt hit the bottom but it fucks the sides up...ENJOY..." - WD
I know what most of you are saying..... "I haven't read poetry like that in 27 days".... White Devil... aka white satan, aka pasty lucifer, or to some who know him best.... cunt or cuntface.... its time to face the truth... he is missing. Aducted, dead, gay, or even gone mental.... I don't know but we need to find him. Don't worry i've already takin the first step and sent the information to CNN, its in their policy to cover missing white people.....
In the mean time i've hired Nancy Grace to help us out....
BREAKING NEWS out of Bootleg, MD ..... Another caucasion has not been seen since Monday October 3rd. Over 27 days missing.... Now here's Nancy Grace........
Nancy: Thank you Johnny Menace and welcome everybody Natalie Hollowa....
JM: Uh Nancy let's focus on the new missing person here. Everytime you mention Natalie Holloway a puppy dies.
Nancy: ...sorry old habbit.. The search has began for a missing man, W..Wha..Wh..it.e.... Devvv.....il, come on....... seriously White Devil?.....
JM: His friends call him cunt.
Nancy: .... i'm not saying that on air...
JM: Come on say it.. let it out Nancy
Nancy: No. No its dirty.
JM: Come on. Come on. you know you want to.
Nancy: No. absolutely not. I'm a professional journalist...... White Devil out of Bootleg, MD has not been seen or heard from for 27 days now. Can we get a picture up there Menace?.....
JM: Guest? i ... i didn't line up any guest.
Nancy: You did what..... no guest well what ... how am i ... where's the information going to come from.. How in the hell are we going to find out who killed him?
JM: We don't know that he's dead.
Nancy: Oh..soooo. nieve .. look at this video clip
Nancy: Look.. look at him run away.. now if that isn't guilty i don't what is.. There's your murder.. you know Van Der Sloot murdered white devil.
JM: Ah... Nancy..
Nancy: Don't stop me at the begining of my rant. I am from Georgia... you here me! Georgia god damnit!... I know how to snap my neck and say girlfriend... ok.. so back off.. I was somebody in high school....i was someboy!
JM: i was just going to say you might not want to make assumptions on air and call people murderers in front of a national audience....... you know in case they sue you.... oh and you just killed a puppy, talking about Van der sloot counts to.
Nancy: What am i suppose to do with no guest?
JM: ok we'll get you some guest, some missing white devil theme music... let's just waste the rest of the time with missing white devil theories...
Nancy: Ok you do that.... i need scotch, mommy needs her sleep medicine.
..Ok.... Well here's a list of possible scenarios for White Devils dissaperance which we will explore in more detail next episode: (Please feel free to add any scenarios)
He's dead...(various sub scenarios on this one)
He's is knee deep in debt to the Phillpino mafia
He lives in Solomon Islands as a dolphin trader
He was kidnapped by his old babysitter
He is being hidin by the govt for his involvement in a CIA leak
He was caught stealing fruit in N. Korea and had his hands cut off
He slipped while masturbating and is in a coma
He is diseased
He's addicted to crack again and sold his computer
He's come out of the closet and now sails the seven seas with Cpt Sulu
He killed Rosa Parks
He's a pirate (like Steve in Dodgeball)
He is on a quest to find all the members of EMF and reunite the band.
Ok that's all i got.... I encourage you to leave a comment on his blog to let him know he owes us money. Join us next time when we will explore a few scenarios and have a special guest that could shed some light on White Devil's dissapearance. I'd like to end tonight's program the way a started with an excert by white devil.......
Dear Penis;
I know things have not been good and you always ask me to shave the area around you..I'm sorry and I promise we'll find action soon and please don't look down at the floor all the time when I look at you...
Your Buddy,
~WD
I know what most of you are saying..... "I haven't read poetry like that in 27 days".... White Devil... aka white satan, aka pasty lucifer, or to some who know him best.... cunt or cuntface.... its time to face the truth... he is missing. Aducted, dead, gay, or even gone mental.... I don't know but we need to find him. Don't worry i've already takin the first step and sent the information to CNN, its in their policy to cover missing white people.....
In the mean time i've hired Nancy Grace to help us out....
BREAKING NEWS out of Bootleg, MD ..... Another caucasion has not been seen since Monday October 3rd. Over 27 days missing.... Now here's Nancy Grace........
Nancy: Thank you Johnny Menace and welcome everybody Natalie Hollowa....
JM: Uh Nancy let's focus on the new missing person here. Everytime you mention Natalie Holloway a puppy dies.
Nancy: ...sorry old habbit.. The search has began for a missing man, W..Wha..Wh..it.e.... Devvv.....il, come on....... seriously White Devil?.....
JM: His friends call him cunt.
Nancy: .... i'm not saying that on air...
JM: Come on say it.. let it out Nancy
Nancy: No. No its dirty.
JM: Come on. Come on. you know you want to.
Nancy: No. absolutely not. I'm a professional journalist...... White Devil out of Bootleg, MD has not been seen or heard from for 27 days now. Can we get a picture up there Menace?.....
Nancy: ok thank you... ....let's see as you can see White Devil has dark hair and Jennifer Wilbanks/pyscho killer greenish eyes.... we can tell he's obviously poor and can't even afford a new hat... ....that's so sad it breaks my heart.... If you have any information that could help find this man we urge you to call the Mt. Airy Police Department.... Ok joing me today... Menace who is our first guest?
JM: Guest? i ... i didn't line up any guest.
Nancy: You did what..... no guest well what ... how am i ... where's the information going to come from.. How in the hell are we going to find out who killed him?
JM: We don't know that he's dead.
Nancy: Oh..soooo. nieve .. look at this video clip
Nancy: Look.. look at him run away.. now if that isn't guilty i don't what is.. There's your murder.. you know Van Der Sloot murdered white devil.
JM: Ah... Nancy..
Nancy: Don't stop me at the begining of my rant. I am from Georgia... you here me! Georgia god damnit!... I know how to snap my neck and say girlfriend... ok.. so back off.. I was somebody in high school....i was someboy!
JM: i was just going to say you might not want to make assumptions on air and call people murderers in front of a national audience....... you know in case they sue you.... oh and you just killed a puppy, talking about Van der sloot counts to.
Nancy: What am i suppose to do with no guest?
JM: ok we'll get you some guest, some missing white devil theme music... let's just waste the rest of the time with missing white devil theories...
Nancy: Ok you do that.... i need scotch, mommy needs her sleep medicine.
..Ok.... Well here's a list of possible scenarios for White Devils dissaperance which we will explore in more detail next episode: (Please feel free to add any scenarios)
He's dead...(various sub scenarios on this one)
He's is knee deep in debt to the Phillpino mafia
He lives in Solomon Islands as a dolphin trader
He was kidnapped by his old babysitter
He is being hidin by the govt for his involvement in a CIA leak
He was caught stealing fruit in N. Korea and had his hands cut off
He slipped while masturbating and is in a coma
He is diseased
He's addicted to crack again and sold his computer
He's come out of the closet and now sails the seven seas with Cpt Sulu
He killed Rosa Parks
He's a pirate (like Steve in Dodgeball)
He is on a quest to find all the members of EMF and reunite the band.
Ok that's all i got.... I encourage you to leave a comment on his blog to let him know he owes us money. Join us next time when we will explore a few scenarios and have a special guest that could shed some light on White Devil's dissapearance. I'd like to end tonight's program the way a started with an excert by white devil.......
Dear Penis;
I know things have not been good and you always ask me to shave the area around you..I'm sorry and I promise we'll find action soon and please don't look down at the floor all the time when I look at you...
Your Buddy,
~WD
posted by Johnny Menace at 8:25 AM
21 Comments:
if he reunites emf, i'm gonna kill him myself.
also, i think pbc holds all the answers. if not, it'll still be an interesting interview. lemme know if ya need his e-mail.
WD has given us so, so much....but congrats on edgier, more creative journalism than I have ever heard on so-called news channels.
Very creative account...I like them purty colors.
shane - shut your hole.. EMF is going to make a comeback.
jen - now you know.. nancy grace hates puppies.
glo - i would love to see a segment when it comes to missing people where they just spout off random sceranio's to explain the disapperance.
g.d. - i had to break it up somehow.
WD is back!!!! pbc's posse must've found him.
jen - i envision her being a robot
sharon - we assume everything and yes puppies are dying.
rm - she needs a 24/7 channel of just missing people.
storm - i only thing of one thing at a time.
shane - damnit i knew he would ruin my contining coverage
von smartass - why are rappers into gag-balls and pantyhose... that just doesn't sound very street.
IS Shane fuckin in love with me... He mentions my name on your blog every fuckin chance he can... Last I heard from Devil boy he was plannin a trip to the front line of the Flood Plain in LA... We were gonna slaughter"canadians" from jon boats. I have a bad feeling that ole cunt bought it on Bourbon St... Let's hope he' alive and has access to a 20 lb. propane canister and a shotgun, Lord knows tha go9t those boys from Dawn of the Dead out of plenty of jams!
Fuckin' hilarious.
Aw man, ah hahahahahaha.
Even better that he actually posted today. Oh shit.... so funny....
I believe the WD may have gott'n ahold of some bad roast beef....
Dude, that was excellent!
pbc - i'll have to wait until i hear it from WD himself.
wes - yeah he really didn't let me built up the drama. I was going to have this man's face on milk cartons
Jen - there's only one way to prove that theroy.
liv - the next time you title a post Jabber Jaws it better be about the fucking cartoon .... or sucking cock.
vonna - yes because gag balls are so timid
stiff - Roast beef that puts you out for almost a month.... hmmmmmmm
Yay!
A dolphin trader!!
Shiny.. shiny.. shiny..
dolphins are shiny?
and while i'm commenting ... I was really wanting to set up the White Devil Foundation to help find him... was going to make some white devil rubber braclets... "but Nooooooooooo one older brother had to go and screw it up, by flunking your driver's test"
not until after thanksgiving .. put me down for Nov 29th.
I have a jpg of a milk carton I fixed up... How do I get it to ya?
i'm thinking his latest post was some sort of code message. i think he's still in some pretty deep shit.
I finally found your fuckin little ass link to your mail... N admiral yet... I'm workin on it though.
rotflmao! a puppy dies now thats a good one ;)
pbc - you should sent it to WD.. someone should let that fucker know he was missing
shane - yeah i know what he means by the "black bus"
jen - watch total recall
blue - keep it. its yours.
Hahahahahah! ;alksjf;lsdjf HAHAH! You're my hero!
I don't have anything. Just SCORE!
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