Letters from forgotten friends....85' (response)

Dear Snake Eyes,

How's the left arm? still working? are those screws still in tight? ... look... I know you said not to write you back.... but you wrote me on the hotel stationary ...and i called to the hotel to check and see if you were still there..... your still using that fake check-in name.... Mr. Bojangles.. Isn't it time for a new check-in name... it isn't exactly discrete and ninja like.

I would be more than happy to send you your uzi submachine gun, black backpack, and black sword..... but i'm afraid you'll have to come get those yourself. ..Maybe.... maybe in the pre-uni bomber/oklahoma city bombing/9-11 days i could of had overnighted it to you or paid a mexican a quarter to clean my gutters and then run it to you, but my gutters would come first. Times have changed and you can't mail deadly assualt weapons in the mail.... but i am sending your mix tape with this letter... its the tape Lady J made for you while you were recovering from surgery. Still have the playlist in sleeve here:


Side A
U2 - "With Or Without You"
RUN-DMC - "Walk This Way"
Kylie Minogue - "Locomotion"
George Michael - "Faith"
U2 - "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"
Bon Jovi - Wanted Dead Or Alive
Thompson Twins - King For Just One Day

Side B
The Cure - "Boys Don't Cry"
Fleetwood Mac - "Little Lies"
Lionel Richie - "Say You, Say Me"
The Cure - "Close to Me"
The Smiths - "Cemetary Gates"
R.E.M - "Superman"
Don Johnson - Heart Beat

........ Don fucking johnson I almost forgot about that miami vice phase you and Quick Kick went through. Remember when you wanted me to sand you down and paint a white suit on you.... you were so drunk... i think ... wait a minute... yeah... that's when you stabbed Roadblock.... that was fucking hilarious.. oh my god ..everyone was laughing so hard.., of course Roadblock hasn't stopped stutering since.......... ...hmmmm.. so... in your letter you seem a little pissed.. and at me off all people... well let me set the record straight.

First off... consider yourself lucky to be alive.. Some Joes lost their lives that day.. where's your respect? Alpine, Flash, Airbone, and Frostbite are now part of someone's home's foundation... that's right they were buried alive in cement...... i couldn't save them.. i.. i....... i thought i lost you in there to.... apart of me died that day.. I was never the same after the great war of 88'... After a few days passed and I hadn't heard from you i woke up in the middle of the night and caputred Firefly from Cobra...... I sanded Firefly's face and body to look like yours and painted him black..... I tortured the man... he died.. I sanded him down to the metal chrome and rubber bands.... You were my favorite... are still my favorite.. who surgically constructed you a new left arm after the dog bit yours off? That's right it was me.. I made the decision to take Breaker's left arm off and give it to you.. Just remember that when you press play to listen to the mix tape.

Yo Joe,
Menace

And to answer your questions...
P.S. - No.. she thought you were dead and wanted to have a piece of you to remember. Wait until i tell her your alive.. you are going to have some huge alimony payments.
P.P.S. - Wait until you hear what he did to your dog.