Sunday, December 25, 2005

Searching for White Devil (Day 81)

Apparantly my appearance on the Nancy Grace show didn't turn up white devil...

(by the way have you ever seen someone credit the Nancy Grace show for finding someone.... nope me either.. always someone who trips over a hand in the woods or noticed a odd smell for 9 days... its not like the show motivates you to go find these people, you just sit and say
"Damn... that sucks, glad that's not me... I wonder if TBS is going to rerun Ace Ventura tonight" and then you change it to A&E and Dog the Bounty Hunter comes on and you forget all about Ace Ventura coming on, miss it and then all that homemade mayonnaise you made goes to waste........ where am i.... oh... right.. so i decided to hit the streets and find White Devil and some oxycontin because... well it is the holidays.

But when you do these type of search and rescue mission, you need a team, guys you can trust, that have your back because you never go into the unknown all alone..... DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME BUMBLEBEE?? That's why your fucking dead because you had to prove to Otimpus you were a tough guy and go at it alone. I saved 3 weeks allowance to buy you and then you go and fucking die on me like that....... fuck you........... ..... (i need a moment)..... ........ ...... well it had been a while
since i last spoke with some guys i knew who could help me and i lost thier numbers and never really kept in touch like i said... so i picked up the phone book and found someguys looking for work:

Captain Cave Man
Hadji Singh (Johnny Quest)
Steve Sanders


We met at Taco Cabana to discuss plans and other important team things.

(Day 28 11:18:05am)


JM: Hey Steve, how's it going? Glad you could make it.

SS: Well I finally had a break in my schedule.. you know hollywood busy, busy, busy.

JM: Right...... busy.. What are you going to get? I'm going with the breakfast tacos..

SS: The veggie quesadilla looks good.. uhmm.. Can you spot me? I didn't bring any cash.

JM: Don't worry man, they take debt.

SS: Yeah no plastic either.....

JM: You just drove up here in a Ferrari... you don't carry credit cards or cash...

SS: I forgot my wallet.....

JM: ...... Don't lie to me ... your not that good.. That's why you do voice work only now..

SS: ....... I was in Savate....

JM: It went straight to DVD for reason... ..... but sure i'll get you a veggie quesadilla..

SS: and a drink

JM: and a drink... oh looks like Captain Cave man made it.. Hey Capt how's it going this is Steve

Sanders?

SS: I was in 90210..

CC: ..Ungah Bungah

SS: no 90210

CC: .. ug ungah bungah ungah bungah

JM: Is that all you can say and why are you shaped like a hairy peanut?

CC: ..ugnah bungah

JM: I see.. fine with me. Welcome to the team.

SS: ... Welcome to the team? What the hell this guy doesn't speak english and carries a fucking
club around?

JM: Cavey show him the club.

CC: Ungah.

SS: Huh.. look at that..

JM: Yeah a little bird comes out there and does stuff...

CC: CAPTAIN CAVEMANNNNNN!!!

JM: Hmmmm ... I'll be damned.. he flies to.... you were saying?

SS: Ok.. welcome aboard.

JM: And looks like the final piece of the team has arrived. Haji.

Haj: Greetings friends.

JM: Hi Haj, nice to meet you in person. This is Steve Sanders and Captain Caveman.

Haj: Please excuse my tardiness I was delayed at the airport. Security kept detaining me.

JM: Come on Haj... You had to expect that .. i mean your wearing a turban on your head. Maybe you should just take that off....

Haj: Don't you ever speak off my turban again

SS: yeah but..

Haj: don't

CC: ungah

Haj: I said drop it......

JM:...... .......... ok.... well we all know why we're here to find White Devil but first... we need a
team name.. suggestions go.

SS: Sanders & Company.. Team Sanders

JM: no and no

CC: Ungah ungah.

JM: I'm not going to acknowledge that.

Haj: Hadji's Heroes.

JM: Hmmm no.

Haj: No.. I was a fucking sidekick for 50 years.. It's my turn damnit.

JM: fix your turban...

=========================================
If you can think of team name let me know and now I leave you with a
White Devil passage

"
Yea...My balls...Your chin..."

-WD

17 Comments:

Blogger Scumbag said...

where in the shit have you been?

10:29 AM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

i think its obvious i've been looking for white devil.

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The guy didn't even show up to my Christmas party.

I have also received confirmation that he has moved in with a chick. So therein lies your answer....

1:30 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Scumbag, I told you he was under my bed. He's lying. Johnny, get your ass back under there. I didn't say you could come out!

7:06 AM  
Blogger Steph said...

you're back! wow

2:49 PM  
Blogger Scumbag said...

wes, moved in w/ a chick? or being held hostage by a chick?

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess both would suffice as an answer?

9:41 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

wes - thanks for ruining my search team i was begining to understand captian caveman.

jenn - it took me forever to get those cuffs off and that ball gag out of my mouth.

steph - i workout. thanks

shane - what's with the scumbag name? what happen to shane?

4:57 AM  
Blogger Scumbag said...

you would know, BUT YOU WEREN'T AROUND!!! YOU'RE NEVER AROUND FOR THE IMPORTANT THINGS!!!!!

12:29 PM  
Blogger Perdita said...

I like the Menace Team, but that makes me think they would have to get a black van with a red stripe.
You can't use Johnny because that would REALLY get Haj's turban in a twist.

10:21 AM  
Blogger glo said...

I'm rot with naming things. So, I decline humbly.

Sorry it took me so long to make the rounds in Blogland. V. funny post. As always.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

shane - i'm not your father.

jen - yes. no. haven't seen her in 2 weeks. and yes but i called them presents.

ped - why do all the good teams haave vans?

glo - I was banking on a good team name to move the story along.

7:51 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

both

10:24 PM  
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