Saturday, December 31, 2005

The 05' Menace blog in review


So its not an entire year but its The 05' Menace blog in review. Why not start with highlights of the months

June - The first posting I think is apporiate when greeting yourself to stangers to just comeout and so a picture of you getting hammered. You know.. "Hi I'm Menace here's a picture of how much i can drink, what i like to drink, what i look like when i drink..... wanna go get some drinks?"(readers would later learn that is my only pair of clothes)..... Also in June i teach everyone how to protect themselves from sharks. ..... Perdita hints that she might be on acid "At one point I thought a shark was gonna get me through the monitor. I was wondering why else it would be wet."

July - One of my best months of blogging. I educate the masses on the birth of the 4th of July and what a soapie is. Pissed off no-l (apparantly people were sensitive about Hurricanes) Acutioned off my friend Tombo in "Win a date with Tombo" to Mel (i think that date is suppose to happen in 4 weeks... i'll have to check with tombo and the wound has healed into a nice scar). Had my first edition TV dad fight night, Bundy vs Tanner (one of my favorite post of this year by far) We all found out who was fucking Gibbler after that.... thanks Buttah for adding on "FINE! get over here, whip it out and let me do my thang.jesus. so demanding.who hasn't fucked gilber?

August - All i was thinking about that year was vacation. I went to Puerto Vallerta.... Not much going on. I remember claiming you could save the world and clone gas....... hmmmmmm.... same month I talked about rubbing veggie dip on your nuts while watching Roger Rabbit... Puerto will do strange things to you.. all i can say is Ricea... But i will highlight the love spat between white devil and larin von smartass in this post... love was in the air.

September - My first edition of Mom's box of random shit (we find out Mitzee is not into girls, and da buttah's mom is a crack head.... a chocolate thong can really bring out the truth in people). The most racial comment is made this year by the wedding party ""Maybe their asses will float back to Africa", which resulted in the NAACP emailing me.... thanks PBC.. Bundy wins the Bundy vs Tanner fight and God and I have a chat.

October - Mom's 2nd box of random shit comes in (Larin Von Smartass cotimplates being gagged "i dont know, if i had a gag ball in my mouth, i think i might be a bit timid"). The wedding party finally comes through with their drinking contest. Snake Eyes and I start talking again. An Amber Alert goes out for white devil and the search begins.... G-lo sums it up best "WD has given us so, so much...." while shane says "if he reunites EMF, i'm gonna kill him myself"

November - I get a dog.... name her Kylie, other dog name suggestions Peril, bailey, twatwaffle, DCD, liability, bluey, and cuntface ... My favorite suggestion from Postmodern Sleaze
"She deserves a hybrid of every anglosaxon white female name you can think of. Combine Sarah, Amanda, Jennifer, Jessica and Kristine and you will undoutably come up with the perfect name for the little hussy".......... everyone thinks i went missing until i resurface in December.

December - I resurface from searching for White Devil.. Jenn shows her true serial killer self "Scumbag, I told you he was under my bed. He's lying. Johnny, get your ass back under there. I didn't say you could come out!"


So that's the year in review of this blog. Any highlights comments you'd like to point out feel free to let me know, .... Now i'm going to ridiculously drunk and make a new picture to carry in my wallet... and as far a resoultions for this blog... well.. after going to all the old post i noticed that i'm handy at giving advice. Evil, bad, retard, dangerous, unhealthy advice. Starting in 06' people can start emailing me for help and i will give them the best advice i can.

18 Comments:

Blogger Scumbag said...

johnny, we make no apologizes fer PBC havin' the NAACP e-mail you. i would hoiwever like a copy of this email fer our records. god bless you, you fucking jap.

sincerely,

the wedding party

11:08 PM  
Blogger jungle jane said...

Can I ask the first "Dear Johnny" question then?

Dear Johnny, do you any handy tips for removing those pesky lubricant stains from the walls (don't ask) without ruining the paintwork?

luv jj

4:00 PM  
Blogger KATY said...

haha i am going to leave it to my viewers imaginations...because i am sure its much better than what actually happened...haha

nice blog! and im not even a robot saying so... haha

-wetpants

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope the ditch you passed out in was at least a warm one my friend.

A Happy Drink Beer to you and here's to a new year filled with Amber Alerts of missing bloggers, a new kitten, and a profile of G.I. Joe's Flint. Rock on.

8:45 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Dear Johnny, why in the hell are you not BACK under my bed? And I wasn't ever gonna kill you, I was keeping you there for protection from montsters.

1:17 AM  
Blogger glo said...

It was a very good year. So glad I could summarize my feelings for white devil so succinctly as to be quoted. This is a moment that will live on....

1:29 PM  
Blogger Abreu, Jorge said...

Juevos rancheros for you, my friend...

12:04 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

jen - you have a unhealthy nancy grace fetish.. its time you admit it.

shane - i can't.. legal issues, but i can give you an interrupted version.

jj - lubricant stains, tips, hands and paintwork... that takes me back.

katy - i'm going to go with lubricant stain on your ass then.

wes - a kitten?? that reminds me.. i forgott to highlight your "all you need now is a cowboy hat and feather boa" comment

jenn - to be honest with you it was the lubricant stains under your bed... it was begining to be to much.

glo - sorry i had to counter that with shane's equalizing quoute.

storm - and i've already broke my first resolution.

curious - the band?

8:24 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hahahah! Punk. :p

12:13 PM  
Blogger jungle jane said...

The quote of the week? holy crap - First White Trash turns my Narnia into a t-shirt and now this honour!! thank you Johnny! i am so flattered!

7:56 PM  
Blogger Scumbag said...

you're gonna be so proud of us:

http://weddingpartysux.blogspot.com

7:44 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

jenn - how many people have you tied up before?

JJ - what's the picture on the t-shirt look like? a lion flying out of a 2 legs spread open?

shane - speaking of that what happen to the links of the sites you guys hated.

7:37 AM  
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