Thursday, November 02, 2006

My First Night at The Paddy Wagon

You know that Johnny Menace is a real humanitarian.... Finds White Devil and brings him back to us, aids Scumbag in appreciating and understanding PBC, keeps us all a-breast of danger with his Shark Attack informationals.... and documentaries on old-lady eating Crocodiles.

And now... he's taken me into his humble abode here at the Paddy Wagon when I had nowhere to call home.

I appreciate that. Thanks Johnny. You're a swell guy... hmm swollen.. uh huh. anyway....

So while he's off making crepes in the kitchen(he speaks fantastic bastard french btw), I'm going to attempt to talk about what my first nights stay was like bunking here at the Paddy Wagon. Because I know you're all curious... since, apparently Johnny has never had a roomie here.

*pauses*
*yawns*
*scratches ass*

Okay you know.... on second thought I'm way too exhausted to share today. But I did snap a picture of me in his bathrobe that pretty much speaks volumes.


And for some reason I keep feeling the need to shower... It will be my fourth one this morning... I just still feel so dirty.

I wonder what he's going to put in the crepes?

*limps off*

33 Comments:

Blogger Johnny Menace said...

well you looked like you needed the engery.

12:13 PM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

i did. thank you...and the coffee is excellent.

You do know, you have no towels... right?

12:25 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

but i have bathrobes... so it evens out.. and you can always turn on the heat.

12:47 PM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Oh, you have heat? Well holy shit.

12:49 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

what do you think that fire pit is for?

1:00 PM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

I thought it was for sacrifices actually. Are we the only ones here?

If so.. well.. we need to put the crepes down.

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

damn.

I just about snotted myself.

Cold blooded...

2:04 PM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Actually bostick it isnt about that. It's about being fired and having nowhere to go.

Perhaps I should just go away all together?

Is that a better idea?

2:14 PM  
Blogger Scumbag said...

no.

2:22 PM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

EN - After he's done having you clean the pit, let me know what the game plan is for the Melt since you cant get there anymore...

And dont let Johnny touch your ass.

2:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Emma. Im sorry, if it means anything..

2:54 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

does that mean everything else is ok to touch?

2:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you get any photos johnny?

Do share...

2:56 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

you know bo.. i won't censor EN arounnd here.. so she can post any photo she wants.. .... but i've got my hands on other things than photos...

2:58 PM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

She's got this spot on her head, on the back... and if you pull the hair there or rub it she goes ape shit.

touch her there and see what happens.

2:58 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

why do you think she's limping

2:59 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

your not kidding shawn.. any crazier and you might mistake her as british... (think about it)

2:59 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

........ jesus... shawn.......

3:00 PM  
Blogger Johnny Menace said...

her teeth ... ..... british teeth are jacked up..

3:01 PM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

no really, grab the underneath of her hair there, at the nape of her neck and give it a tug...

solid to jello in -2.2 seconds dude. Enjoy, she's a great housekeeper... did she bring a housewarming gift?

3:05 PM  
Blogger Editor Shawn said...

and actually she's got great teeth... unless you broke a couple last night.

3:06 PM  
Blogger Scumbag said...

hey dipshit, can you please advise yer roomate that she DID receive an invite to the "other project" and the approximate time her invite was sent YESTERDAY. thank you.

3:23 PM  
Blogger Carl Spackler said...

what up bitches!

3:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drama is fucking gay

3:46 PM  
Blogger Scumbag said...

you're fucking gay.

3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got a toothless chimp with a mouthfull of poprocks. Ill be back...

3:53 PM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

why can't em get to the melt?????

3:57 PM  
Blogger Carl Spackler said...

lick my neck, my back, my pussy and my crack.

4:10 PM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

and why is she limping????

4:38 PM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

am I being ignored? :(

1:52 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

Absolutely not Huneeb... Crepe?

9:50 AM  
Blogger HuneeB said...

no, no thank you. I swore off crepes after I got violently ill from them :(

So why can't you go to the Melt and why are you limping??

10:12 AM  
Blogger Everything Nice said...

I'll email you about the melt :)

and well, I'm sure you can imagine the limp. If not I'll cover that when I get to the details about my stay here...

as soon as Johnny takes off the Do Not Disturb sign or.. they stop stocking the mini bar

11:19 AM  

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