Mother's Day
Mother's Day is around the corner... like this Sunday..... right?
Sometimes I go with flowers.... other times just a card.... sometimes just a phone call....... sometimes I forget (but the old man always covers my ass and writes my name on a gift, calls me and tells me what i got her)...... nice uh.. the old man watching my back.... i know...
Guys have to do that for each other when fighting against evil companies like Hallmark, who pray on women's emotions by selling them paper cards with words on it....... for $1.99... you sick bastards... making us buy words and paper...... that's insane.
what's next buying bottled water..................... oh...... maybe that's
not the best example....... ... ok.. let me try another one...what's next paying to breathe oxygen............ shit....... yeah... you know.... let's just forget the examples for now....Hopefully someone is watching the end of Fight Club right now why they are reading this and reliezes what they need to do............ no ... no not make friends with Meatloaf at a support group for testicular cancer..... think more along the lines of The Pixies - Where is my mind... you'll be doing all of us a favor.
...... what the fuck was i going to talk about...... oh yeah mother's day.
Basically I want to send my mom a box of random shit for mother's day (don't worry i am completely justfied in doing this. I would like everyone's suggestions on what to send her and let's keep it under 25lbs.
Before you suggest let me give you and idea on random shit she sends me. here's what she got me in the past that i've posted.... box of crap #1... box of crap #2
posted by Johnny Menace at 4:07 PM
10 Comments:
used condoms and anthrax.
where do i get the anthrax? ... i don't have any arabian friends.
just go down to the 7-11.
what about if you shit in a diaper...add a jar of gerber baby food to it and send a note that reads:
"Dear Mom,
Happy mother day...just wanted to thank you for all those times you cleaned my shit up"
Love,
John
my favorite pixies song. fantastic.
i think you should carve a sculpture of your mother out of your own jizz, and send it.
life for life, so to speak
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I'm still dissapointed that you never posted what your mom gave you for Christmas.
johney - after my degree can i get into telemarketing like you and hate my life.
Anonymous - look it was a one time thing. I thought i made that clear
jess - I will never speak of that day.
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